felt relax from school this week, somehow.
managed to get my fair bit of sleep today since church started at 930pm.
realised people in my life really makes me smile at times.
firstly, knowing that i love prawn cracker, yongkhang bought 1 kg worth of it from malaysia, bringing some to school for me everyday.
secondly, khuibing and a few others surprised me by coming back on friday to train us just cause i told kb that friday's training isn't productive.
thirdly, the encouragements i get from samantha and virnice every time i tell them i'm stressed up.
there are so much so much more that people have done for me, keeping me going. and i really wish i could be like them, bringing smiles to people..
there's this particular person, whom i see needs God. so, keep me in prayers so that one day, that person will come to church and.. recieve christ.
xyzxf is my current drama craze.
thank God for the week. =D
screwed basketball up today.
sigh.
damn my knees.
saw two people accept Christ today, and i just hope my friends would too. it's such a joy and i'm so so happy for them. got to pray and keep my faith knowing that God will do work in His time. =D
the world is indeed small.
2nd week of school has past.
pretty fast and tiring at the same time with training ending at 9pm which was totally not productive cause coach was with the guys as usual.
went out today with the gang of 9 to celebrate yk's birthday. met the three guys earlier to "walk-walk" before meeting the rest of the girls. they kept making me laugh despite knowing that i have muscle aches and kept complaining about the distance we're walking when it's LESS THAN 5 MINUTES! group of jokers =D. we spent like 1 hour in popular laughing around. met the rest of the girls and went to astons for dinner. bumped into yh and some aj teachers and we started going super high making fun of people's name and cindy cause she eats damn slowly. we even counted the number of times she chews before swallowing while waiting for her to finish her food. incorporated names into cheers and started doing aj cheers as we walked. camwhored like crazy and i guess everyone around thought we were some crazy people. laughed, made noise, joked like no one's business. kinda ironic how we sort of couldn't get along with them initially and now we're so close. oh well. got yk a bag he wanted and headed home. and all of them were shocked by how much photos i can take AND pose. LOL. enjoyed myself alot, alot today. =DD. hope there'd be more of this kinda 9-clique outing. =)
like how the way things are in my life now.. =)
and. tan yingyun. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
a few people told me this this week: confidence comes from practicing.
true indeed.
some things just dawned on me today.
what if i cant play for A divisions after training so hard, so long?
what if i cant run any more?
what if i cant even walk?
after everything, it starts to worry me now. the pain kicks in when im not even on my second round on the track. it hurt for the whole day, unlike the previous weeks. it's getting worst and worst. so bad that i could hardly climb any stairs. but.. i ended up training still. cant bear to see the girls sweat, run everything and i, the captain sit there watching. hurts me even more since there're so few people. just hope my knee recovers before track and field, before nafa, and most importantly, before a divisions.. sigh.
renovation is finally nearly completed after so long. kind of like my house better now, except for having so many furnitures..
lost concentration half way just when i was doing well..
慢慢也习惯了，慢慢也没感觉了。
Good day to all. =)
the first week of school is over, with tests already coming up. feel totally tired, shagged, drained and fatigue when it's just the first week. thankfully training was canceled on friday so i had sufficient time to recuperate. totally needed that rest and time to catch up with school work. being the ever so slow person i am in catching stuff, i already felt that lessons was going at too fast a pace for me to catch up. nevertheless, i have no choice. oh well.. but i think my teachers are good. i believe better than last year for some. so i should be contented =). had a few meetings with council here and there for events like agm, open house, cca showcase and stuff like that. feel that some councilors ought to go for further training in order to deliver better and clearer speeches and briefings. ( my opinion. don't be insulted. no personal attack..) but at the same time, there're good speakers in council too.
shared with anshao my experience on how good and graceful God is and ended up crying. just dawned on me how thankful i should be, now that i've successfully gone through j1. remembered vividly that day when i got back my results, with kb and mel hugging me. and i was desperately telling them i didnt want a retest. cant forget that day still.. so scary, so disheartened.
went for baby ryan's first month and wow. there were so many babies there! like 10! serious. took some photos using bro's camera worth 6k. cant post any cause my computer cant read the files and he lent the disc to his friend. rah. next time maybe.. after my photography skills improves =). supposed to visit the zoo ( i typed library initially which shows that i'm thinking about work ><) after the lunch but whole family decided to give it a miss.
hope the next week and next weekssss will go fine.
friday suddenly gave me a feeling that my friends around me in jc are so fake, so fake. i dont know which is the true them, can i trust them or whatsoever. some of their actions make me feel like they are just putting up a show in school, whereby school is merely just a stepping stone to get into university. all of our ultimate aim is to get into uni, that i dont deny. unfortunately, they give me a feeling that they do not treasure any friendships and all that matters is studies studies studies. whatever is done in school is just an act and when they go out of the school or away from school friends, they return to their trueself. i dont know if it's true or not, but it gives me this feeling. i miss the good old school days in secondary school, where i had this group of 5 to go to, where we are ourselves, at home, in school, where ever. it's not just a friendship in school, but a friendship in and out of school. it's a friendship where by i see effort put in, whereby it's treasured by both parties.. guess this explains my black face on friday. sigh.. but, on the other side of the coin, i have realllllllllly good friends, whom i call friends for a reason =D. what more can i ask for?
guangyi just gently reminded me that we should start studying for A's soon. even he, the lazy guy is reminding me. guess that's all i should do now, casting away all my irrelevant, depressing thoughts..
the 4 people i msg nearly every day, is something i wont want to lose.. not at all.
bro just dumped me with national geographic and times magazine to read. sometimes, i'm really glad to have him. sometimes, he's just horrible vegetable.
school's open house today. met people, some of whom i haven't seen for ages, some of whom i miss seeing, some of whom i wasn't prepared to see. can't say i feel sad, cause i am happy to see certain people whom i haven't seen for ages, which includes zh juniors and seniors. but can't say i feel happy, cause on seeing some people, memories came back. so i guess it cancels out. think i didn't do that a good in facilitating cause i don't know much about the school and what the ccas are doing. eg. are they creating games or are they to go into the room and stuff like that. thought i could do better.. oh well, at least it was a good experience. seeing how my juniors get so vexed, stressed and indecisive when it comes to choosing schools makes me feel the same as well. especially for those whose parents are firm with their decisions, not allowing the child to have any say. saddens me. especially when i saw someone's sian face today. oh well..
was quite taken aback to see you today cause you told me you weren't going last night. but good to see you after such a long while. couldn't spend much time with you though.. but, heh, i miss the times when we could talk to each other. though i dont mind the current situation at all. hahahaha! ( no one would know what im talking about. ) dont get so confused and stressed over choosing of school okay? remember, you choose, not anyone else. sorry if i did add on to whatever you didnt like in the first place. ultimately, just be happy, dont regret, do well and i'm totally fine with it. jiayou =DD.
first week's of school is gonna be over..
第一天，我却很累。好多好多事做啊，多得透不过气了。感觉好像要崩溃了。=(
congrats to those who did well for O's. for those who didnt, do well in the next step you take =)
i remember someone ( guy) telling me: it is because of girls that's why they, guys have problems.
thinking about it, i think it's so so true. ( at least for the problems normal teenagers have) if guys know how much they've hurt girls, perhaps they'd really feel guilty and maybe, even more hurt. and if girls see how much we've hurt them, perhaps they'd feel the same too. but, it proves that the feelings were true ain't it? it's nay impossible to understand what's going through guy's/girl's heart. and i wonder what it'd be like, if everyone doesn't have feelings, real feelings or is already immune to them.. at my age, the most prevalent problems would be being hurt cause of a guy/girl. however, if one day, every one turns happy.. everyone takes relationships or friendships as a joke.. won't the world be much beautiful? there's this chinese saying that goes something like you solve the problems you have created for yourself( i totally can't remember). can we really solve them? naturally, we would think that it's human's nature to feel this way and problems are inevitable. but, can we avoid it? perhaps some, but then again, not all. all i can say is, problems, just like obstacles, allows one to grow and learn. however, since many of us are soft-hearted people, all our promises to "never fall in love again", " stop loving this/that person", " never get tricked by love again" turns to dust and continue to believe that that person is the one who will provide happiness. but after everything, feelings fades, often ends up hating each other, but still missing one another. but cause they're too dependent on each other, because love seemed everything, eventually, a broken heart still. both thought they tried their best, gave their all, but the other party fails to see it. what's the truth? no one knows. everything just seems to be a story, a drama serial.
i wonder why i'm blogging about this, at this time, at this moment, here.
on a lighter note, someone i know, who've dated since sec 3, are getting married soon, after 9 years of dating. =)
school's starting tomorrow. was kind of excited initially. but after napping, i was hoping time could pass slower so that i can run away for a while more, before facing the monsterous, gigantic, humongous, scary A levels and A divisions. somehow the excitement i contained isn't there already. was thinking what kept me going to school daily. in sec 3, perhaps maths, sec 4, reynold, j1 basketball, j2, i'm still finding. i remember how i used to wake up, seeing msges, being so excited and happy every morning. but, doesn't happen now i guess. rather, it stopped 11 months ago. at least i had company when i was j1, but j2's gonna be different. oh well. friends told me i was much happier, making my whole clique laugh. but i seems to have lost the ability to do all these. but whatever the case is, i'm still a happy little girl now. at least i still have my family, church friends, school friends like meisiu, random people and reynold to make me smile like how he used to. i'm much happier now than in the past year when all kind of shit happened. just hope that in this year of schooling i'll persevere and not start skipping school just cause i can't take the stress. not done with homework, but i've kind of gave up doing cause i want my rest before the long yet short year begins. first day of school and i have to stay back to paint basketball banner. i'll take it as a bonding session together. hope the day will go fine. hope the year will go fine.
my com's dying at the right time i guess.
spent a little more time with church girls today. made me felt relax for a moment. maybe i'll do it once a month despite the busy year. need a time to take a break as well.
O level results tomorrow. all the best for those who're taking your results.
bella, qiquan, mag, gerald, reynold, all my juniors =).
凯雯，该是时候收心养信了. 加油吧! =D.
basketball camp ended with a basketball test ( of which i didnt do well) and 2.4km run ( of which i didnt complete). camp was strenuous. had many things to take note as a captain along the way. glad a few seniors came back. cause without them, i'd be at a total lost. talking to them about difficulties faced being a captain made me feel much better. gave me encouragement and taught me stuff. team talk was good i guess. at least coach said everyone looked better after team talk. mr lim is right. guess we really need to spend time together. need to be more cooperative. i hope what we keep from all this pain and stuff is the memories. good ones, bad ones. after all, it's the experience and memories that counts. think we're more bonded after the camp already. but there're still separation among us. hope over time, we'll get to know each other better, play with chemistry. saw the fighting spirit again during the losing match. gave me the want to continue playing with you girls. =D. jiayou.
think i need to improve my basketball skills badly though..
and my stupid knee hurts the shit out of me. plus abrasions due to a crap fall. and blisterssss.
i kind of like how things are now. perhaps i've learnt my lesson. but i really enjoy being friends and keeping up the friendships with people. kind of like the way how daryl and reynold bother taking initiative to msg me unlike others. wonder why is it so tough just to take the initiative. oh well oh well.
basketball camp tomorrow. =DDD
Anshao finance properly done up!
couldn't spend much time with the youths today =(.
perhaps it's cause i havent talked to you for so long continuously, thats why i'm starting to remember the times we used to do so. i'm so surprised i'd msg you when i was totally exhausted.
somehow i still feel like talking to you once in a veryyyyy blue moon. cause you were the only closer friend i lost in 2009. oh well.
2009年过了，2010年来了。2009年，也许对我来说，是我人生中最最辛苦的一年。感觉上，好像整年都不是过得很顺，也对新的一年感到害怕。可能是因为有会考。考试，从来对我说，是一件没什么的事。但，经过2009年，我的想法完完全全的改变了。可是，我知道，神，为我安排了很多美好的事，等着我。2009年，当上了安少的副团长，当上了篮球队长，在加上合气道，篮球，钢琴，侍奉，读书，把我几乎喘不过起来。好像不管我读多少，成绩都好烂好烂啊， 使我整人觉得非常堕落 (demoralized)。在achievement方面，和往年相比，我并没有得到什么，凡而因差的成绩放弃了我喜爱做的事。可能是上帝的安排吧。不管如何，我都需要感谢他，给我度过了这一年，也给我学到了不少属灵的功课。他带给我许多好朋友，好老师，好家人，愿意花时间在我身上，支持我，教导我，给我关怀，给我爱。没有他们，我的一年会更辛苦!
朋友，不知有些现在还是不是。但，我可学到了很多，也把我视线增宽了。
新的一年，要更加努力。2009年所犯的错都不要再放，所不高兴的事，都忘了，所对别人的不好都在这儿说声对不起，也求原谅。希望在耶稣带领，2010年会更好，荣耀主的名,也好好做上帝的仆人。因我知,所需要的力量你天天赐给我，你恩典够我用。
对那些在2009年帮了我的人，真谢谢你们!
to those who helped me in the year 2009: thank you.
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For God so love the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but shall have enternal life. John 3:16
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