Dr. tay went.
" you look extremely tired."
mum went.
" i think you're much happier staying at home than going to school."
Thank God for
the people helping me,
the people there for me,
the parents that understands,
the Himself.
=)
love God, cause HE first love us.
hallelu, hallelu, hallelujah.
you didnt.
i just dont know what else to say.
never posted so much during normal school term.
yet im blogging ALOT these days.
blogger is such an effective way of communication.
wow. applaud.
do whatever you want to,
whatever you think is right,
whatever you deem as the best.
after promos,
i want to
play basketball.
swim.
run.
drum.
blade.
train for aikido.
play piano.
go out.
talk to friends.
spend time with friends.
read books and the Bible.
go furniture shopping for anshao room.
"renovate" anshao room.
help est with anshao camp.
and.
STUDY MORE. ( or perhaps i'll have to retest if i flunk all my papers. )
jyds
" 1 more week. jiayou."
yes, 1 more week, jiayou.
thanks for your prayers. but.
i need. prayers, prayers and more prayers.
i want. i know. i can. i will. i must.
你恩典够我用. =)
if a relationship doesn't consist of two people feeling the same way, why is it called relationship? relationship is a relation BETWEEN people. and the only way to keep it going is to have THEM doing the same thing. it takes two hands to clap, doesn't it?
12:18 AM
i think wanting to pass so much
makes me cranky.
makes me crazy.
makes me selfish.
makes me pissed off.
makes me ignorant.
makes me sad.
makes me agitated.
blame it on insufficient sleep.
and after everything, i still have a ton of formulas, reagents, conditions to remember, one mountain of revision papers to do.
what if i still dont make it after this two arduous week of mugging my ass out of me?
um..
i've got unlimited msges.
so it doesnt really matter.
maybe you can save your 'okay' and use it better for another conversation then.
sorry i got so agitated, was horribly drained.
but any way.
i wanted to tell you this last night.
if she doesn't care, can you stop caring till A's are over?
i know it's easier said than done.
but you have to focus as well.
seriously.
i can tell you that no matter how much you try now,
to her, A's still trumps
you're just going to waste your effort again and again,
getting nothing out of it.
why not divert your attention and time and worry about your studies more?
it's not going to be one bit easy,
i know that as clearly as you do, i think.
but after all, A's determines your future.
make it or break it.
i want her to do well, as much as i want you to do well.
i've advised you,
listen or not, up to you.
and for goodness sake,
i didnt DELIBERATELY misunderstand you.
You're still watching me, aren't you?
all in Your hands.
faith.
need a stronger faith.
ljds randomly msged me today,
and gave me a verse
Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
i dont want to go to school =(
6:40 AM
where's my runaway track?
i'll run..
a.w.a.y.
i want,
but.
failed far too many times.
thanks.
after everything,
deep down inside me,
you know,
i still do care,
don't you?
don't be dumb,
my friend,
to use yourself.
sorry for putting up with my moodswings recently.
sorry for ignoring messages on msn.
sorry for flaring up.
but,
thank you, for being there.
yes,
i have everything i need.
i have friends,
i have family,
i have teachers,
but most importantly,
i have. GOD.
how ironic.
5 loaves, 2 fishes.
You did it all.
i surrender.
my fears,
inhibitions,
ambitions,
burdens.
never will leave me,
never will forsake me.
and.
i cling on to Your promise,
kneel before You,
humbly cry out
Abba Father.
Thank You.
for everything,
for forgiving me,
for dying for me,
for every.single.little.thing.
give me the strength
O Lord,
to carry on.
for my cross You gave
is not too heavy to carry.
don't feel like doing anything.
8:44 AM
tired of trying, tired of crying.
I do want you to help. just that i dont want your grades to suffer. seriously. i dont want you to sleep late cause of me when you have a paper the next day. i dont want you to spend time on me at the expanse of yours. if you dont do well for A's, the only few reasons i can think of is because, you're distracted, you're spending too much time talking to me, helping me. and i want you to do well. i want to see you doing what you want to do in future. you dont have that much time left. if i allow you to help, the lesser time you'll have. i dont want you to not do well because of me. i know you want to help. i appreciate that. really. but can you think for yourself more than for me? i know i make you feel horrible at times. but i really really want you to do well and you can help me that way. if i cant make it, at least you have. and i'll be proud of you. as i've told you umpteen times. i'll allow you to help. day and night, weeks and weeks, months after months. but, three months later. seriously. i'm not pushing you away. you're too good for me to push you away. you're more than i ever can ask for.
why?
cause if i allow you to help, at the end of the year i may not be able to do well and i worry you would have wasted too much time helping me and dont do well either.
and if i dont allow you to help, at least i'll be the one not doing well whereas i'm pretty sure you will if you turn all the teaching time into studying and revising.
you already have such a huge burden to bear, dont take mine up on your shoulders as well.
this time, its your trust i need.
I strayed, alot, alot.
It's time to go home.
I've been too long out on my own.
For Your love is higher than the heavens
Deeper than the seas
And all I want is You in my life
No one else can satisfy my soul
Can make me feel this way
Only You Lord, only You.
I need the strength Lord.
Is this the road you set for me? or a road i took upon myself?
Guide me, Lead me, Mould me.
maybe i should just drop out, seriously.
so many so many things.
cant make my parents happy, cant make my friends happy, cant make myself happy.
can people just stop leaving?
profile
W
For God so love the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but shall have enternal life. John 3:16
mail.
♥
likes
my bed
my computer
my friends
my handphone
family
Aikido
God
dislikes
parting.
wants
stop being a jack ass
closer to God
mature
excel in art and sports
find something i really love doing.
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