yo.i have been arguing with my parents today and two nights back. all because of my fucking mother. just wish i can pay someone and let the person fuck my mum till she is satisfied man! fuck her. she suck to the core. the ultimate fucker of my life. the controller of my life. its just like she runs my life and i HAVE to obey her. what kind of life is this man? with my funking mum controlling me all the time just because my studies arent as good as my brother? does it mean he can learn judo while i cant even learn taekwando? does it mean that he can have a handphone line while i just haveto stick on a hi card only having $10 for 6 months? does it means that he can have a better computer than me? does it mean that he can have a thumbdrive while i dont? does it mean that life for me means it willbe harder just becuase my studies arent good. other people out there studies are worse than mine but they are doing so bloody fine. what teh fuck life do i lead man? so what if his studies are better? so what if he carries our family name? so what if he is a guy? so what if he is older than just TWO years? it doesnt mean that i haveto suffer injustice right? it is just totally UNFAIR. UNFAIR I MEAN IT. its just total biasness. he can go every where and any where he wants and return home as late as he wants without permisson while every thing i do i have to ask my bloody parents for permission. total UNFAIR. does it mean that i cannot use the home phone? my fucky brother has a handphone that is why he can dont use the home phone. your just think that i am in the wrong. the home phone only ME and ME alone use. no one else. my aunt also use. and she uses more than me. MORE as in MUCH MORE! my brother's friends can come to my house while mine, cant even step in without permission. my mum cant afford my brother to fail his piano exams but she can let me fail. she is so fucking desperate for my brother to pass his grade 6 that whenever i want to practise the piano, my mum will ask him to practise first. what kind of bloody life do i lead? i dont even have freedom. every thing i do is WRONG except studying. yea yea. i DO deserve this life. yea right. i am just fuckingly pissed off by what my fucking mum do. my dad is at least better. after every thing, he kissed me twice and comfort me. while my mum, go on rattling like a trumpet. bee bohh bee bohh continuously. if my dad did not even suggest having a computer for me, i wont even have a computer. becuase that old computer is my brother ALONE. NO one can touch it. i am just suffering so much. what is the point of living? i just live in agony, in dispair, in unhappiness, in injustice, in fustration all the time. what is life really all about. i just have NO idea.but the lucky thing is that i have friends around me. GOOD ones. like dionne( my sis), zane, k.kaiwen, jolene, andrea, clara, melaine,chieh-ling and many others. your should know who are your. i thanks you all for comforting me and helping me in times of need. expecially one person up there. if you bother reading this, which i think you wont, i really have to thank you for taking care of me, protecting me and not leaving me alone when there was a great misunderstnading. GOD has gave me such a good friend like you and i believe i should treasure you. i dont care what trouble i may get into for just talking to you. we have gone through alot together though as friends only. i will not forget what you have done for me. i shall end here le. veyr tired and fucking pissed off still. take care people and god bless.
*is life really what i am living now? i am still pondering and wondering real hard...
yo.siigh. the common test 5 is here. o well. i guess i really have to study after slacking for almost a whole term. its like. i have not been studying for dunno how long except for school. playing and sleeping all the time. i every time bring the books back also never study. than when i want to study, the books arent back. funny right? stupid la. i didnt know that the term is going to end so fast. its just like, a month past only. so damn fast lor. but only one week holiday. cant do much in that week. i really have to put in effort to study siia. if not my studies are going to suffer greatly. really greatly.from A1 drop to B3. something like that. bad enough. and i am practically not listenning at all in class. so if i dont study at home and revise my work, i dont know what the results will be. i am addicted to the computer. real addicted. can spent hours and hours in front of it doing nothing. clearing my computer itself can take up to an hour since i have so much things in my computer. mostly rubbish. school work all cleared le. its gonna get full soon. thats why i have to clear. i have about 200 over songs in my computer. and i want to listen to them. so i dont delete them. i transfer them over into my mp3.and slowly, i get to listen to all my songs. but the thing is, my mp3 battery is going down damn rapidly. thats becuase i listen to it every single night. yup. so i have to charge. and i am too lazy to do that. haha. well. school so far is o-k-a-y. it is always that okay.except that i keep bumping into people whom i dont wish to see. yesterday while i was on the way to school for art club, saw him and her. one after another. wahhh lou ehh. my mood wasnt even good then lor. than my mood changed. for the worse. boo! sunday the national day rally by lee sian long was kinda boring. but on the other hand, it was interesting. dont get what i mean right? it was interesting at some parts, especially the video. but boring at the part of the talking and talking. my dad appeared on tv four times. one closed up time. yayy. haha. any way, i needa prepare for music lessons le. my brother lucky lor. yesterday could pon his music lessons. and i dont know what books to bring. i have got too many books to bring le. dont care. later bring wrong books, the most dont play only. or get a scolding only. i wanna quite piano le. but people like dora told me not to do so. or i will regret it. i kinda agree with her. so i dont think i shall quit.
* faster. faster. faster. befor i go for music lessons. you wont be able to get me!!.
yo. well today was ms tan chye i, my chinese teacher's, birthday. lols. we bought a cake for her and celebrated her birthday at the last peroid.( which was her lesson.) we cutted the cake( no more like she cutted the cake. haha.) and we ate( i didnt. we as in the class.) i paid for the cake and became a shareholder. -.-. hahas. any way, my science suck man. literature test was rather easy.. well. what is done cant be undone. so be sure of every thing you do. trust me. thinking back of what i did, i do regret it.mistakes are made. but they can be corrected. siigh. time flies. its gonna be end year exams de. i didnt do that well for my mid year nor my last common test. better buck up on my studies.they kinda suck at this point of time alright. yeas. never do something out of anger. it is vey painful. especially to your friends. you may just lose a good friend. trust me. its true. i almost lost a friend that meant something to me.hmm. i have nothing much to cover..so shall end here. take care every one, god bless and see ya.
*to hui yee: happy belated birthday
*to teng lou shi: happy brithday
*to dionne: happy birthday in advance
*to marysa: happy birthday in advance
*to anna: happy birthday in advance
thats all le people.. thats all i can remember for birthdays for now..
yo. went out with jun kai, vincent, jun ren, bell, nicholas, anthia, charmaine, zuoying, k.kaiwen nad chinee on tuesday. went to kovan. than damn siianz lor. should have listen to anthia and go to PS or j8. hahas.any way, they are really morons, especially jun kai.( so brother. dont disagree with me when you dont know them well.. ) they went shouting making loads of noise and jun kai went calling names. like da sao for anthia. ( but i kinda agree with him.. lols) yea. than after that went bowling. i did not bowl. did not want to injure my hand for music exam tomorrow. yup. reached home at 2.45 than after that alked on the phone and ate lunch. yesterday was singapore's birthday. did not go to school. but went to studio to practise piano. and went out to sushi tei to eat sushi. spend 60 bugs there. lols.than when i came home. i drew. lols. spent about 4 hours on a art piece. its alot of time. but the out come was a success. i dont mind spending that much time when in the end, i get such a good piece of art. i wonder what will my art teacher say. hahas. i copied it from a mozart piece but used water colour instead of oil. tress are my speciality and in that picture there aer two large trees. that is why its so mice. but i am still not that good at the effects of soil and water. have to buck up on that. yupp. than at night watched thal day parade. we actually had tickets to the jurong east one. but due to music exam, ma dont want to go. today practised piano after i ate my breakfast. ( not really after. but about 15 mins after..) have music lessons at 12.30. so i shall end here.bye. and take care.
3:08 AMyo. happy belated birthday to myself and joshua from bethel. its such a coincident that our birthday fall on the same day.. hahas. oh ya. thanks all you people for remebering my brithday.. and thanks 1E5 for the birthday song. anthia, andrea, k.kaiwen and dionne thanks for the present. =)). it was a day that comes across every single year. i dont know why, but this year. i am exceptionally happy. last year, i argued with my father on this day. i had a durian cake from my dad. ( mum, dad, you both have yet give me my birthday present.. =) .) hahas. yea. than my dad had to go for a wedding dinner. so he left after seeing me cut the cake. the cake was nice. durian. one of my favourtie fruit. as the common test 5 was kinda over, i did not study at all yesterday. i jsut used the phone from 6.25 till 6.40 and 6.55 till 7.05. and than after that, 8.30 till about 8.50 and 9 till 9.45. pro right, use the phone so much.. hahas. got a scolding from ma for using so much. not really scolding. just commenting perhaps. but her tone is never nice. yeas. yesterday was a day that is memorable and i finally seen the true self of 1E5 as a united class. before i end, thanks all those people who wished me happy brithday, through friendster, face or through telephone.. all the best for every one. i am still in a good mood and hope my mood will be good through the rest of the week. take care and god bless you people..
7:27 AM
yo.. today did not go for youth because fun week so ma dont let.hope those who went enjoy going.. =)). my god mother gave me my birthday present.. food.. food and more food... hahas. we went to celebrate my birthday. my mum treated me and my brother for a meal and garden hotel. buffet. eat until damn full lor.. ate alot man.. alot of variety..than went to little india with k.kaiwen, zuo ying and kenny.. than to clarke quake..( dont know the spelling ) my leg was aching like shit lor.. than kenny very funny. after i got down the train he msged me and said happy birthday to me.. hahas.. yesterday, becuase i help you( you know who you are.. ) burn a cd. my dad got flared up. but i still helped you burn. in the end, got a slapped. and my mum said she is not going to buy something for me. what the hell lor. dont buy dont buy la. like i dont have money like that. shit her lar.. what the fark man.. heck care lar. damn bloody tired.. needa go rest..
to Dora: rest well and speedy recovery
to deborah : rest well and speedy recovery
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