this post is dedicated to my three extreme good friends. well. if this does affect our friendship, i dont know what to do. im trying to help here. please dont see this as an insult or what. if you do, apologies. any way. my three dear friends. 1 year and 5 months have passed. studies of yours have been getting worse. do you guys know that i kinda envy you? just put in that small little efffort. your results would be better then mine loads. but for me, even if that small little effort is put in, i cant beat you. you know your memory is better then mine. without much of studying, your results are already like that. while me, i studied. but my results are some where near you guys. you know you are blessed. just your blessings. people like me a struggling so hard. till i have lost my motivation. its not easy for me to do well. but for you guys, put in the effort, you will see a difference. because you people are my friends, thats why i decided to tell you this. one after another. i see you people getting detention, demerit and suspension. do you think i like to see that? no. i dont. i dont wish to see any of my friends there at that row. your are more fortunate then many people. you have to count your blessings. not every one get to go to school. the future is yours to hold. its yours and yours only. in singapore, the certificate is important. if you dont think for yourself, think about your parents. your parents who puts hopes on you. how they want you to be good in every thing. dont disappoint them. friends around you are getting worried for you people. also think about the teachers who go the extra mild for you. theres our form teacher talking to you guys, helping you, maths teacher and so many more. your werent like that last time. there is still one more semester to go. go for it. jia yous. in basketball as well as studies. playing is important. but studies too. i dont wnat to see your studies dropping. CCA is a must in our school. what will happen if you guys dont go? more detention, demerit and suspension. i dont like mine too. but i dont have a choice. i dont know what else to say. but, pick yourself up. once doesnt mean forever. think of how fortunate you are. think of your ability. i hope you really would be like last time, hardworking and all. with this, i hope that it will do you some good. if it doesnt, well, i will still accept you guys for who you are. we have not give up, neither must you. cheers dudes =). God bless.
2:28 PMalright. have not been online due to my high fever for the past 2 days and i cant seem to type properly.. any way, monday had diaorrea in school and started having fever towards the end of school. ade, ying, cai and jack send me home. ( thanks loads XD) didnt go for art club. fever was 38.5 then. kor brought me to clinic at around 3 and was given 3 medicine. so i came back. took medicine at like 5. 30 becuase kor brought the medicine with him for music lessons. was damn uncomfortable. vomitted 3 times then. so ma came back.. and i was like breathless. then i ate some water chestnut and vomitted all out in the end. diaorrea got worse. whatever i eat, drink was all vomitted out including medicine. ate medicine again. ma took temperature which was 39. but i was on panadol. so she said probably fever without medicine would be 40 degrees. abit scary. then she went to tend to my nephew and niece. then i felt damn bad. sleep 30 minutes sure wake up with either going to the toilet or vomit or stomach ache or more. so it was damn irritating and tirring. in addition, i get giddy when i do any thing except lie down.soon through the middle of the night at around 3, i started vomitting foam. fever did drop at around 1 something. but it went higher again at 2. 3 was worse. diaorrea was so bad till i could not even leave the toilet. mum wanted me to go to the hospital becuase she was afraid that i would get dehydrated. so by the time things were done, we left home at around 4. reached at 4.30am. could not even walk. had to be on wheel chair. then the doctor put 6 medicine through my anus. how painful can that get. so after an hour, i was given sugar water. 20 ml per 20 minutes. damn irritating lar. then every thing was cleared. but was told to lie on the bed for observation. until around 7. 30 then was discharged. given two days MC plus 5 types of medicine. so when i went down to the car park, i had to rush to the toilet cause was having diaorrea again. then ma was so afraid, sent me up to the doctor again. and. my shit was green in colour and damn watery. its like urine. met my theraphist there. and shes quite jovial =). she was like. admit!( as in get admitted.) then doctor told my mum to give me medicine. so ate this black medicine called charcol. then went home. slept on the floor. kor was sick too. didnt go to school. but not as sick as me. had diaorrea too. but didnt vomit. fever was not as high as me. oh yah. ma wanted me to be drip cause she was worried that i might get dehydrated without water in my body. but i wasnt. so slept and woke up, ate medicine, slept, toilet, slept, eat abit, slept and so on and so on. didnt feel well at all. and ma was like telling me i have no fever when i have. so through the night was fed medicine and abit of food. then today. woke up. felt much better. but damn giddy. now too. lips skin all peeled. i wanted to go to school to watch basketball match. but oh well, cant. sorry again. still having diaorrea. sheesh. having headache. kor also home with me. any way, shall end. hope i can go to school tomorrow. have filing and lit to do. whatever it is. I MUST GO FOR ART LESSONS ON SATURDAY!!!! God bless all. and thanks to those who helped me. =) cheers. once again, sorry. ( to that particular person.) i feel cold( ade would get what i mean. )
10:52 AM
i longed knew that posting on blogs, others would read. but whats the point if you post and no one read? it defeats the prupose. i predicted that the outcome would happen. pleasant or not. i dont know. i wanted us to imporve our friendship. and now that our friendship is improved after clearing things up, i hope ALL of our friendships would be stronger. no one knew the actual reason for every thing. i said i studied. you believe? no. you dont. my friend once told me. i see you talk to your friends, after all the friendship isnt that strong. there is this saying which goes like this: the furthest friend maybe the closest. the closest maybe the furthest. true or not? i seriously dont know. i was talking to my friend about what happened. for she understands me. i guess you would know who you are. and i figured out. whether you people decides to trust me or take this as a piece of crapped up crap. i still shall state. there is something missing in this friendship. i dont think its trust. for me and her had the trust. she trusted me with her family. i told her. its not money that is the barrier. i doubt its the language we speak. different standards. of 4 out of 5 in the group having a chinese speaking family while me, 1/5 of the group having a english one. chinese, i once was good at. but not now. from primary 1 to 6. i go with english speaking people more often. i neglected my chinese. secondary 1 onwards, i decided to go chinese a little more. i dont blame you for being chinese speaking. in fact i thank you. for helping me to bring up my chinese. i never ever thought that your look down on me. i knew your were kind soulds helping me. but a joke may hurt deeply. if its overly joked about, the deepnest maybe affected. i will be able to face her. but not the other party. the one who i know for 8 years of my life. she said she would make things clear. i hope it will be cleared. i dont want any obstacles between us. its hard to say a sincere sorry. but hereby, i say a sorry to all of you. especially the one i hurt most. its considered backstabbing in a way. i knew. but i just dont know how to put it. and thats why i decided this way. the past is the past. since we both apologised, i hope our friendship will not come to an end.
trust. i do trust you. but the few who understands me through and through, knows what im thinking arent your. there are namely three. the one i mentioned up there, a senior and my brother. there is a minimal trust between us. and from here, i learnt alot. i learnt that having a stable yet comfortable friendship takes every single soul. every one have their own problems. i believe EVERY SINGLE SOUL. but, it seems like we dont know each other's problems. i read someone's blog. if that person who got you irritated is me, i guess, we will have to sort things out yah. as she said. perhaps its the time where we sit down and sort things out. its true. if there's a case of blockage, i guess that we will have to sort things out EVEN MORE. oh well. i just hope you continue reading my posts like you did. i have many things to think about. i told her. i have to juggle with art, music, sports studies and family matters not excluding friends. you think its easy? every one have to go through the phase of suffering. and i guess mine have come. oh well. God bless all and take care loads people. its just a simple line to end off with. asking for forgiveness. true or not, up to you to believe.
so, today went to play basketball with ade, ying and cai. then this guy called sebestian joined in. so yeah. played till around 5. 30. then went home. then cause ying and cai had tuition, they went their way and ade went home. so sebes was going to MRT. then he was asking if i was going. but i said no. then after that. i walked off. he was behind me. asking me to slow down. so i slowed down. then we just talked abit. half the time was quiet. -.- then i also dunno what to say. than he walked past my lift then i told him bye. then he replied. then came home. new maid is gonna come. agent said 5. 30 and well. its 6. 20 now. what the hell is this? if its the first time, okay. i let her off. but its like the 100th time? I PASSED MY SCIENCE!!!!!! on the dot. 50. YAY. so going to sungei buloh on saturday for camp training. didnt actually want to go. because someone said if im going, shes not. so well. i didnt. but mel asked, so i agreed. i dont care the hell if they are like gonna leave me out or something. its my choice. well. yeah. people. i know i did horrible for chinese. but can you people give me a break? its not easy can. for me to even study higher chinese is a miricle. so yeah. sorry.. well. taking part in UOB competition. dunno what to draw. its like i have to 3 competitions going on. well. i really hope i do well for UOB. its my life. my future. sigh. any way, new maid here. CANT EVEN UNDERSTAND ENGLISH!!! what the hell. how are we even going to communicate? its gonna be like hell. and well. its truly communication problem this time. bleagh. God bless all. and basketball peeps, JIA YOUS!!! =) ( mum doesnt really allow me to play that often. hais. cheers dudes.)
6:12 PM
i never wanted my results to turn out like that. it is really indeed shocking failing 3 subjects. my results were bad last term. but it is worse and i mean much worse this term. failing three subjects namely chinese, science and geography. it wasnt that shocking for science and goegrpahy, but it is EXTREMELY suprising for me to fail chinese. Chinese, a subject which i used to do very well. it could just drop all the way to 46. 5. the only component i did well was zuo wen. and i thought i could do even better. what wacked me hard was my listening which only scored 6 / 20 and my si han which only scored 7 /20. i wonder what i was thinking of when i did them. i could not believe my eyes. fancy getting single digit number for them? si han and listening is a must-score paper to bring marks up. but look like it pulled mine down. am i going to drop to normal accadamic? i hope not. people who got higher marks then me and even passed were crying. but me? i wasnt. i mean. why cry over spilt milk? i just cant motivate myself. most importantly, i dont believe that she is one of my good friend and went around laughing at me getting such low marks. ok i know that 6 marks for listening is abit too shocking. but do you even think i want that marks? NO OF COURSE I DONT! ok, i know you did rather well. but that is not the way. when i won you in english, did i laugh at you get for getting 9 and 15? no. i did not. it upset me. although its partially about my marks, but i didnt know you were like that. you are happy getting good marks. im happy for you. but you need not laugh. get me?! i know you might not read this, but if you do, pleasee. i maybe le guan getting this kind of marks and yet not crying, but have you ever thought that i dont feel good? you managed to pass al lthe subjects. thus you dont actually know how people like me feel. you people are always saying that your results are bad, bad and bad. but how about me? if your results are bad? whats mine? shit? and you people keep saying expectations are different. how different can it be? yes, i admit i didnt really study hard for this exam. but the pressure is there. i had loads of things to worry. i have loads to cope with. i have loads to do. you people dont. you want to compare yourself with me? lets see who is moer busy.i dont share my worries with you but with people im not close instead. how much do you people even understand me? i dont think its half of those who i tell my troubles but you dont even see me talking to them at all. my family is an english speaking family. expectations for english and literature are high. yes, they are high. higher then yours. what else do you have to say? i do admit that chinese is important but we seldom speak. my mum knows that i can only score well for maths and yet i just passed. all those that i passed was those that i am slightly better at. but they are still not satisfactory. nothing is. sigh. i never wanted my results to be like that. i have to be motivated. but i cant find my motivation. i know its the same to a few others.
well. now about you. ok. i know that you are rather straight forward. but, you know what you say at times is backstabbing? well. i dont know why some people dont like you. and you really do tear alot. pleasee. buck up. guys. they tear, they are loser. girls. they tear, they arent. but be strong kay. =)
cooked my own lunch just now. took 1 hour. marcoroni with cambell soup, peas, hot dog and pork. ITS NICE!! i cooked ALL BY MYSELF! YAY. God bless all. =))
sigh. 1 more main paper and left with listening. have been playing basketball for today and yesterday. and my mum always get worried. worried that i get missing. -.-. its like so early and im home all alone. so just now went to play basketball with ying, ade, cai. then played match with a mixture of people like czander, andrea, xavier and some dunno who. started raining. so went to mac. saw some people there. and by the way. your dont have to look at me like that. if you unhappy or what, just say so. and i no longer talk to him can. your no need to be jealous. i dont know whats wrong with you people. and helloooooo. i dont even like him!!!. any way, went to mac eat fries and drink. rain stop went back to play basketball. did ABC. and i was stuck at one place for soooo long. then knock into this guy. apologies although you wont be reading. it was an accident kay. cai. not your son in law la. -.-. then just any how throw the ball. went to sit at the railings near mac. after a while, went home. accomplained ade,czander,ying and the other guy to the MRT. then met them again. whateverrr.. and once again, there were looking like they are gonna hunt me or something. reached home, mum was calling like shit. then went down to buy 3 bottles ofr 100 plus. ate lunch and still drinking now. oh well.. i have to mop the floor later. and what. change my bed sheets? daddy is gone. brother going tomorrow. all alone. hais.sigh.. any way, God bless all. =)
2:33 PM
profile
W
For God so love the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but shall have enternal life. John 3:16
mail.
♥
likes
my bed
my computer
my friends
my handphone
family
Aikido
God
dislikes
parting.
wants
stop being a jack ass
closer to God
mature
excel in art and sports
find something i really love doing.
archives
November 2004;
December 2004;
January 2005;
February 2005;
March 2005;
April 2005;
May 2005;
June 2005;
July 2005;
August 2005;
September 2005;
October 2005;
November 2005;
December 2005;
January 2006;
February 2006;
March 2006;
April 2006;
May 2006;
June 2006;
July 2006;
August 2006;
September 2006;
October 2006;
November 2006;
December 2006;
January 2007;
February 2007;
March 2007;
April 2007;
May 2007;
June 2007;
July 2007;
August 2007;
September 2007;
October 2007;
November 2007;
December 2007;
February 2008;
March 2008;
May 2008;
June 2008;
July 2008;
August 2008;
September 2008;
October 2008;
November 2008;
December 2008;
January 2009;
February 2009;
March 2009;
April 2009;
May 2009;
June 2009;
July 2009;
August 2009;
September 2009;
October 2009;
November 2009;
December 2009;
January 2010;
February 2010;
March 2010;
April 2010;
May 2010;
June 2010;
July 2010;
August 2010;
September 2010;
October 2010;
November 2010;
December 2010;
January 2011;
February 2011;
March 2011;
April 2011;
May 2011;
January 2012;
tagboard