oh well.. hmm. lets see when i last blogged. on monday. yep. tuesday.. lets see. stayed in school to study.. wednesday and thursday also stayed in school to study.. nothing really happened. today. during ce lessons, suddenly ms tan came to me and said. see me later at around 1.20pm. and i wasnt that shocked cause she told me before. so, yeah. ms lau told us that today was her last day.. oh well. i dont know to be happy or sad. any way.. after school went for lunch and i ate as fast as khoo. hahaha. then at 1. 15 went down to the staff room and saw ms tan talking to jo at the umbrella there. so at around 1. 30 she finished and jo came to call me to talk to ms tan. talked for 18 minutes. she concluded. my studying methods are wrong. but i dont think it is. i mean. what is right and what is wrong? then she doesnt want me to give up jc. she wants me to go to jc. she does want me to study pure science and not combine. even if i have a choice to go to jc, i would prefer poly. i think i can cope better when i am in poly. yes, i am putting art as pirority. any way.. i dont even know how she is gonna look at me doing a close passage and a comprehension.. she would like to see me again next thursday.. bleagh.. shes nice.. yes, she is. she spends so much time on students. afraid she might just get burn out. lets just say that she is the most caring teacher i have ever got.. yup. better treasure her before i get to next level and wont get her as my teacher whats more form teacher. hais.. i can see that she is really busy.. after me, she had the prize presentation thingy on.. i must motivate myself to make no one disappointed in my results. YES!!! went for prize presentation. saw melanie getting her prize.. crapped with mei zhen and khoo. then mrs raj was telling us to keep quiet.. was kinda boring lar.. but in the end got performances. ended at like 6. 30 when it was supposed to end at 6. then reached home at around 7 bahh.. yup.. kinda tired. have to go to sungei buloh tomorrow. reach school at 7 am!! it ends at 1am. art lessons from 2 till 3.45 and tuition from 4 til 5.45. tired saturday.. bleagh. alright. gotta go. Take Care and God Bless
9:05 PMyo. oh well. hasnt been updating for quite sometime. have been busy. any way, had learning carnival on thursday and friday. friday was alright. performance was alright too. =). ohwell. had some fun on friday. saturday had parent teacher meeting. parents, they are always saying they are busy. busy, okay. tell ms tan then. ms tan has no fault. totally no fault. but, the parents are all at fault. cant they tell her that they aer busy after that or whateveR? like me? at least i bothered to tell her. not like other parents. im not here to insult or whatever. but, i dont think that is the way. it makes things difficult for every one especailly her. she has to see 38 pupils. it is not easy. but, i still have to thank her for the remarks she gave on me and of course, letting me of first. oh ya. and also using her non-office hour to call my mum and talk. hmm. she called at around 9.30. i was like. what the hell. and, she told me to see her tomorrow. what the hell lor. and mum told her that i keep using my computer.. bleaghh.. then she said it is very common. then said one whole loads of things about me. and in the end, ms tan wants to see me.but, hell. i dont mind talking to her. of course i dont. she have helped me in alot of things. and i have yet thanked her. hmmm.. i wonder if i even have the courage to go find her. hais.. sunday. didnt go for youth cause they were going to east coast. didnt feel like going. i didnt see him. so, didnt really affected. but, i talked to him. wishing him good luck for his performance. and congratulating him today for his performance. went to the club instead. went to the gym and did weights.(hand aching like shit today.) went to but a basketball yesterday too. nike 500. isnt that good lar. but at least i got a basketball.. yup.. went to royal sporting house to buy.. hmm. any way. went home and had dinner. at night studied and went to play basketball with my dad. and he is like a basketball coach can. ask me to run 10 rounds round the court. bouce the ball both left and right 100 times and make me throw the ball in a proper way. wah lou. tired lar.. train for about 1 hour then went home. bathed. blah blah blah. fell asleep on mum's bed. woke up and switched off the computer. ahaha.. was tired lar. so didnt stay on. slept for 10 hours and woke up at 10 today. called ade and we were crapping. so she asked me down the play basketball. and yeah, i agreed. but, went to arcade instead. wah. i very long didnt go liao. ahaha. didnt play. but had fun seeing them play. there was grace, keith, adeline, czander and caifeng . (if you do realise. the names are put together in a certain way. =]) after that went home.. mum was at home. she went to the hospital.. then. went for music lessons. music lessons was okay lar.. slept for another 1 hour. ahahaha.. then saw ade online. so chat with her.. then she called me. suddenly, cz told me he saw anthia. so called anthia. ehh. nonon.. chat with anthia then ade call me. so crapped with him till like 8 lar. and i talked to ade from 7.30 till 8. 15. still havent break our 2 hours record. aha. oh yah. didnt have school today.principal gave us a off. good isnt it. ahah.tomorrow have to go back to school. boo hoo hoo. and i dont know how i am going to face ms tan lor. hais.. guess i shall end here. bye. God bless.
8:33 PM
how strong i may seem, acutally i am weak. that weak till i just dropped tears during the battle field trip. hearing of death, i just cant but cried. sorry friends, for making your worried. sorry ms tan, for making you worried too. i know you people care about me. thank you for your words and time when i cried and after every thing, ms tan. indeed you are right, it is a release to him after so many years. yes, i cant bear to see him part. but it is a good thing that he doesnt suffer any more. sad, for sure i will be. hopefully he would go to heaven. never before i cried in school, so openly. pains and sorrows, my friends go through with me. joking with me when i feel down or depressed. i seriously need to thank them. grateful, i am for having such a wonderful teacher. for giving me words of encouragment and of course spending time asking how i am. praying that my uncle wont die. not so soon, at least.
had learning carnival today. errm. rocket had a hole so cant even pump air in? didnt move at all. yeahh. it was overall quite okay lar. was out of school from 12 till 6. so yeah. having literature performance tomorrow. hope that every thing goes well. =) will be back from school at 10 tomorrow. so perhaps i wont be using my computerr. any way, tired after crying today. need rest. God bless all.
yo. i just came back from the hospital. my uncle is dying. he is 78 years old. i see him gasping for breath, with a tube out from his mouth, it really pains me. he lived with a 40 year old warft. he is lucky enough. a normal person with warft would have died earlier. but, he is stubborn. he was asked to do an operation, but refused. sigh.. perhaps, that is all for life for him. a last face, and i will see him at his weak. of course i hate to do so. but, he has lived long enough. he gave moral support to my mum when my dad had a hear attack. he taught my mum of what food to allow me and my brother to eat. without him, i doubt i will be this size. he is considered fortunate. his three children have all graduated. i really hope he can live through. a few more days.. he is sleeping in the ward which was once my father. in CCU. the ward which nurses pays most attention to. his heart have over worked till the extent it is so big.. perhaps, tonight is the lsat night for him, which i really hope not. i want to see him, alive once again. the strong him. the noisy him who complains about every thing. the him who gives me sweets. the him who give me food to eat. the him who talks alot. the him who is fussy. the him who is caring and the him who loves his wife till the extent of not letting his wife go into the clinic with him. i dont want to see the sickly him. the him who is gasping for breath. the him who runs a fever. the him who cant even talk. the him who can hardly open his eyes. how i wish no one in this world who die. or at least, not of any illness. sighh. i guess i will have to accept the fact. i wonder how am i going to spend my weekend. busy or slacking. oh well..
I MUST ALL MY TESTS!!! yes!! my dad owes me a basketball now. =). and my dad actually said buy the cheapest. but my mum said if it costs such little bit more for a better ball, but the better one then. YAY.. but, i think i am really going to do sucky for my next common test. had science. and well. pray that i pass. yup. thats all, need to do artt.. parent teacher meeting this coming satruday. wonder what TCI will comment on. cheers all. God bless.
yo. such a nice saturday and it was all burnt up. firstly, slept at like 1 something this morning and woke up at 7. was tired enough this morning when dad woke me up. did the usual and fell asleep on the sofa. dad woke me up once again and asked if i wanted to be fetched to school. i just said orh. getting into school uniform, i went down and took my dad's car to school. school is like a 5 minutes walk away and i still rode a car. nice isnt it. haha. any way, when i was getting into dad's car, i saw a few campcraft guys and they were like looking at me. when i reached school, waiting for khoo with mel and mei zhen, they saw me and were looking at me once again. any way, had a pre-field trip talk today. had 30 minutes break and guess what i did? play basketball with kieth and edmund from 2e6. cai and ade all rammed into him and got injured. i was the only one who didnt even get injured at all. ahaha. poor them. at 9. 30 they had to go for their dunno what thingy.. so we rested and went back to science lab. the talk was quite interesting, i have to say.. it ended and we went to find kieth again. couldnt find him, so decided to go opposite to buy a basketball. it was lousy, thus, went to central to buy a 11 dollar one. share cost. wanted to go back to school to play, but the secuirty guard didnt allow. so play at cc. then i msged my mum and she told me she was home from kuo chuan's carnival. sohad to go back at 12. no choice. sorry dudettes. and apparently, they saw kieth after that. bleagghhh. then went home for lunch. bathed and rushed for art lessons. was rather late for lessons. but managed to finish at like 3. 30 so went for jiang. and i was the last one to finish writing my zuo wen at like 6. 10. i took something like 1 hour to write. arghh. mum went to see her cousin at ttsh who was in icu. hes gonna die i think.. oh well. i want to visit him. but no time... any way, went for dinner at pastanism or something like that. wasnt that nicee.. went home and we waited for 133 to come for like 30 minutes. two bus came and the whole crowd couldnt even squeeze into the two buses larh. stood like half the jouney. came home, bathed chat with ade and sitted here. home work undone. niceee.. was damn surprised when ant told me that she saw him when she just saw his friendster pictures. ohhh mannn. any way, gotta do homework. bye and God bless.
9:31 PMyo. yesterday went to escape with kkw and mei zhen. lets see.we spend half the time queuing. first, we played wet and wild. i went alone. kkw went with mei zhen. its quite fun.. but, being to disneyland and justrastic park( how you spell it), it isnt that scary.. so met khoo's cousin there..she was like asking him to play with her so i can play with mei zhen. but, he didnt lah. any way, we went for the boat next. met jun kai there. the boat thingy, wasnt that scary. it wasnt scary lah.. cause i sit before more scary stuff. next, went for flippers. flippers is nice. real exciting and nice. and mei zhen and kkw was like shouting and screaming. it seems like it is damn scary and so on. but it wasnt really. just turn and turn. followed by playing the bumper thingy where we sit in the so called float and spray and control.. then mei zhen didnt know how to drive that. ahahaha. so she was so called stranded in the water. ooppss. shhhhhh. im not supposed to say. oh yah. before that went into the hunted house. mei zhen and kkw were like quite scared. mei zhen didnt said she cant see any thing. so, i took the lead. it wasnt that scary after all. its just okay lah. or you want to say i brave also can lahh. kkw was in the centre. mei zhen was the last. we were holding hands. then caused mei zhen kept saying excuse me, i thought is someone else. so i walked faster. kkw was pulling mei zhen to walk faster. she walk really slow lo.. yup. after we played the boat thing wanted to play wild and wet again. but, the queue is so damn long. so decided to go back. reached home at around 6. bathed, went to church at 6. 30. church, was boring lahh. didnt really talk to any one. fell asleep. eat and dad came not long after that. was msging ade half the time. so think how my phone bill can be like.haha. after that came back and well. chat with ade on msn followed by phone for two hours. and we were like. how to end the conversation? trust me. we can make it three hours. any way, shall end. have loads of homework to do.. busy tomorrow and sunday too.. God bless.
12:26 PMyo. wah. school got so many camps today. i saw girls dancing from my house. ahahaha. any way. i suddenly remember. the promise i made. what if she really confronts him? then, wont i get into trouble? eh oh. never mind. any way, dad got his new toyota wish. it totally sucks compared to his mecerdes lah. i could name at least 10 points that it sucks. it truly sucks. most importantly, the bumpiness. its like. so damn bumpy. wah biang eh. we went to beach road for a ride.. went to eat supper. ate du lan. haha. that bone thingy which you can suck. haha. and of course satay.. well.. the bone thingy was an eye opener.. never had tried it before.. kor was best at eating that. he ate three. i ate 1 and a half. and he eats much faster then me.. on the way back, ma sat the third row, kor second and i sat the front seat. i still find mercerdes much better. its more shock proof. i have no worries in mecerdes even when we meet with an accident(choy) but, this car, i see le, scared i fly out man.. abit kua zhang lah.. but its true.. tomorrow, going to escape with khoo and mei zhen.. followed by church bbq at night.. i made great decisions to go for the camp. actually, i didnt even want to go.. but, i cant escape from facts. face facts, face him. oh well.. yup. the boys brigade will be fighting with us for the land in church. heh.. any way. its late. need to sleep. meeting wei ting to collect jiang homework tomorrow at 8. 30am. God bless all..
12:04 AM
yo. oh well. this post is dedicated to a few people, whose name wont be mention. in order of merit. these people are those who have great influenced in me and i would really like to thank them.
1) thanks for listening to my ranting and introducing a great sport which i became so freaking engrossed. thanks for staying by me and playing as well as crapping with me till like 6 plus at times. of course, crapping on msn when ever we are both online. standing by me whenever i need someone to talk to, comfort me when i am down, giving me advices and letting me learn things that happen in life through your own life too. lastly, thank you for trusting me so much. especially when you told me that you trust me with your preciousss.. hahaha. cheers dudette. and since you said you will not give up, dont ever and lets have fun together. =)
2)thank you for the past year you have given me, caring for me, telling me things and confinding in me. though i might often get you into trouble, you didnt mind and stand every thing. you are the first ever person who totally doesnt seem like a 5 year student. your character is just marvellous and its nice of you to try and always get me out of trouble. i also thank you for protecting me against that black guy, sending your gang down. you influenced me greatly and although you are straight forward, i learnt many things from you after being hurt. you comfort me and helped me through the year we were close. although we may not be that close now, i still have to thank you for every thing you did. remember. God is with me and also with you. trust
Him.
3/4/5) i have been spending my secondary school life with your three. it is kind of obvious who you are but, your names shall be private. =)). thank you for spending time with me in studies and sacrifising your own time to coach me in studies. although we have just barely 1 hour for study group, i have learnt alot from your and finally pass my chinese. i have to confess that without you guys, i really wont be able to do so well. thank you for the time your spend in school joking and organsing TBC. we shall always jia you together and crap k. hope i will not disappoint you guys. =). TBC MEMBERS JIA YOU TILL THE END!
6) hmm. you. same primary school, same secondary school. different cca now. but i can see that you have grown alot. though we may not be as close as last time, but i believe that we are still good friends. i may have betrayed you in some ways when i was in primary 6 out of fun. but, now i dont. a promise is a promise. you fun lah. i give you chance to tell people who i am. but you always forget to tell. when there is good chance, you miss it. when the chacne not so good, i run away when you tell. hahaha. well. thanks for confinding in me and helping me in stuff at times. although i believe i havent thake you since i know you, you are really a person who have influenced me quite a bit. remember. your cca rocks like you do. =).
7) okay. we are not close at all. totally not close. but i still have to thank you for not complaining when i start crapping like every night.. and of course, as a senior, you have helped me in homework and some project by giving your "very useful" comments. haha. you better buck up for your o levels lah.. and. how can you fail literature when you are secondary 2?? dont every thing also lazy.. and you have to jia you in recognising people. i appear in front of you so many times le.. but well, apologies. i have been using you in some way or another, i have to confess. you are just a totally image of another person who have influenced me greatly, especially in your passion. jia you bah. =))
alright. guess i shall stop here. to those who arent in the list, you are my friend, but i really wish to thank these few people. God bless.
i survived the three day two night "leadership" camp and sustained three wounds. its supposed to be a leadership camp. but i dont see what makes it a leadership camp. its so different from church camp, and of course, i would much prefer the church leadership camp. although i have only figure out one point with both camp having in common which is if there is a leader, there should be followers. if you are a follower and have no leader, nothing can be done. in this camp, team work is greatly needed. well, although we are broken up into people from all walks of life and all classes from the whole secondary 2 level, i have to say that getting along with them was quite easy. basically spend most time with zi xin. so lets see, first day. gathered and did some crap stuff. ice breakers was great wall of china where the guys build walls using their hands and the girls are supposed to tear them apart to the centre. thats the best game fro the day.. followed by lunch, which was horrible. after lunch was some games. i think the games are erm. quite stupid. i mean, its like we are supposed to go over this spider web thingy. everyone have to go over and we had to be blindfolded for some game that is so called bomb thingy.. and carry a bucket of water. there is this puzzle thingy also which is kinda boring. and the worse game of all is the convaver belt ( how you spell it?) where we have to carry people across passing every one's hand. then it was allocation, bathe time and dinner. night we had this blindfolded game where we have to walk to the parade square blind folded and find our group mates. that game was okay lah. then had supper and zzzzz. half way when i was sleeping, suddenly ms tan chye i came in to my room to confiscate handphones. i was asleep and she scolded people until i woke up. oh well. next day woke up at around 5. 45am. went to brush teeth and stuff and saw my maid and my aunt outside my house. then, had games after that like abseling, cross the river, wolden pole thingy and artic expedition. artic expedition totally suck lah k. its so bo liao. the wooden pole thingy was okay. it was fun as well. we had to carry wooden poles to form a wooden laddle for this guy to climb. cross the river was tiring. i was one of the 8 people to carry the whole team over to the next so called bank. my hand hurts. its like, carry 10 over people, both consisting of girls and boys. then abseling was the best of all. wheni was going down, i was used as the demostrator. so yeah.. then i had to put my legs on the leadge until my butt was like facing the audience so much. and before i went down, i was crapping with joseph lah. then the guy helping me was like. put the rope away from your face if not rope burn your boyfriend wont like you. so i was like whateverrr. and joseph had dunno what reaction. then the guy was telling joseph, you admit you are her boyfriend arh. is not i say. sheeeesshhh. that was fun lah. but so many people looking at me and its so short only. should put longer what.. hahaha. then we had this know your neighbourhood game where we have to find junk to make into a cart.. ours was erm. alright. kinda sucky. cause we couldnt do it in time. at night had campfire. campfire was okay. although we had a real fire, but i doubt it was as fun as secondary 1 camp. i dunno why i find this camp so boring lah. secondary 1 camp was like more fun and interesting lo. any way. lecia has a big problem. its like. when i lift up my sleeve, she sees my tan line and says. cheng zhong also have. im hairy and she saw and say. just like cheng zhong. whatever i do also connected to him. sheesh. then she can wake me up in the middle of the night and ask me relationship problems.. bleaghh. any way. 3 day 2 night secondary 2 leadership camp was overall alright. skipped church. neways, God bless.
12:45 PM
no, you dont know me.
no, you dont know how i feel.
no, you dont know how i am.
no, you dont know where am i.
no, you dont know whats inside.
no, you dont know any thing about me.
not my inside.
just my outside.
not my feelings.
just my appearance.
yo. im worn out. had a nice talk with adeline. shes nice. yeah.. of course she is. well. not very nice. but we went round the school for like 10 minutes talking and ended up sitting at the stairs to talk. so yeah. we talked and talked. till she said that cai would be finding her. so we went up. then i went to the class while she, cai and ying yin went back. they are nice people. =). played scrable with charmaine, stel, zi xin, jack. then went to the playground downstairs my house and played for like 45 minutes. went home. called jolene and went out of home to find her. waited for her outside the school. suddenly, they came along and man xuan told me. i know who is that guy already. and i was like. what the hell. to that guy: apologies. i dont know how she knows. i tried to keep it from her, but didnt succeed. if any thing happens to you, im really sorry. dont tell me any thing next time. okay. so went to talk to jolene for like 45 minutes and met beatrice there. she was waiting for ms tan. then, beatrice came along, we were leaving. then i used her number to msg ms tan and asked where are you. sorry jo. i really wanted you to see her and talk to her. it seems as though she is the cure for every thing. so yup. its camp. camp. falls on a sunday. sungei buloh trip falls on a saturday. a sautrday which i am supposed to go for the carnival thingy and i am supposed to be on duty. and it so happened that it clashes with my time for sungei buloh. i seriously would prefer to go for the carnival thingy then to go for the sungei buloh thing. and now, i have trouble finding people to amend my time slot. what the hell. i dread camp. i dread sungei buloh stuff. i dread every thing connected to school except for pe and art and of course friends. hais.. i havent pack for camp. i dont want to pack for camp. God bless.
4:32 PMyo. it started with a day of peace with me falling asleep in class this morning having nothing to do. i was walking around and crapping when i just felt a sense of triedness in me. so i was sleeping at ying yin's table till she came and i went back to my own. thinking that i cant possibly fall asleep, i really fell asleep through the chit chatting of all my friends. out of the blue, boom. khoo was hitting my table as she tired to wake me up. knowing that i cant say 2 minutes more, i just woke up, bink my eyes and wore my spectables as i proceed down to the parade square. every thing the same except for the fact i was much quieter then usual. all things were the same as class commence and stuff. mr koh was absent today and since i had to go to the toilet, the tbc group went along. toilet was the place where we often gather thus, we went back 30 minutes ( one period) after settling in the toilet. when we were walking back, we were surprised and astonished to see mr thana with a name list and shouted" are your from 2e5? ms ow has been searching for your for the past half and hour. come" we looked at each other and just followed. trouble came. ms ow came shouting at us and of course, we lied. khoo said she was having a stomach ache. we had no reasons. ms ow came screaming at us saying that we werent in the toilet since she roamed the whole level 3. we were and i solemly can promised we were. she didnt search properly. oh well. worried that she might tell ms tan chye i, we didnt really dare do anything. but, life still had to go on as normal. we finished our composition in 30 minutes. i fell the great sense that we had. hahaha. chinese lessons, maths test. nothing happened. phew.. i heaved a sigh of relieve. and finally. I PASSED MY CHINESE TEST. three tests more and i would get my long awaited basketball. I MUST PASS!!!!had study group and stuff and was surprised to see my mum home at 4. so didnt really do much things but study.. literature test tomorrow. I MUST PASS. so, shall end here. God bless. going for camp on friday. so wont be blogging that much.
7:31 PMschool. its a place where i grow,where i see the world, where i study, where i learn things from, where i get my friends from, where i play with my friends.home. its a place where i get true love and care for. its a place i often get scolded for every thing, a place which i cant have peace, a place for me to sleep, a place for me to eat, a place for me to study, a place for me to have fun, a place for me to spend time with my parents. home compared to school. which should i choose? at times, i seriously choose school over home. i have friends who are true. although life isnt a bed of roses out there compared to home, but at least i see people caring for me, helping me. not that my parents dont, but at times, they are already overdoing it till the extent that it gets irritating. i dont get that in school. at home, although i have my parents and brother to go to for help, they cant help me much though my mum is a university graduate and my brother is in Hwa chong. neither my mum and dad nor my brother leads my life. they dont know what teenagers like us wants. i am kinda a home to school and school to home person. i seldom even go out. why, my parents think that studying is all i should do. yes, i agree, in singpaore, without a degree, we have no say. but i cant even play basketball?!?! i know they care for me and stuff. home. its a place for me to fall back. but, dear parents, do you know that it gets real irritating to repeat yourself again and again?? thats why, at times i just prefer school. friends whom i spend time with. it seems like i spend more time with friends compared to my parents. i have so much fun in school, playing basketball and stuff. but, when i come back home, all i get is scoldings and scoldings repeatedly. thats why i prefer staying in school at times. but, i know that home is where i truly belong. i am financially guarded with loving parents who sacrifise their time and stuff for me. however, home is where i am supposed to be. thats why i shall choose home over school as a whole.. take care and God bless people.. basketball rocks..
6:27 PMyo. actually, come to think of it, i have no fault in the incident. but. since i have promised him not to tell any one, i shouldnt. a promise is forever a promised. im sorry, i cant tell you who is he. even if you know who is he, it wont make much a difference. yes, its my fault today. i sincerely apologise here, but it still wont make me tell you who is he. of course, unless he agrees to it which i doubt he will. any way, since i said i will ask if i can tell you who he is, i will. just that, it depends if he comes on and how i phrase it. once again, i apologise for not saying who is he cause i have promised him. take care and God bless.
6:39 PM
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