10 days gone.
followed by 4 days of church camp.
followed by christmas.
followed by basketball camp.
when all the shit comes down,
all at once.
duties,
leadership,
responsibilities.
God, i guess i've ran far away from you once again.
perhaps these 10 days and camp would draw me back to You.
to where i belong,
to where You want me to be at.
oh Lord. continue guiding me,
cause i cant do it all,
not myself,
not alone,
but with You Lord.
take me,
mould me,
use me,
fill me.
if even Abraham could trust You,
to lead him to somewhere unknown,
shouldn't i trust You even more?
i told my mum,
my j2 friends are leaving.
my mum told me.
" i knew you'd tell me this sooner or later.
they'd do fine, dont worry."
what if leaving means an end to our friendship..?
my head..
is.
spinning..
you've changed, so much, so much till i no longer know you.
did i even know you in the first place?
sorry, i had to cause our friendship to strain..
but i try not to again..
holidays?
what holidays?
get my butt down to start studying now.
from jo's twitter which i cant agree more with it:
"You can erase someone from your mind but getting them out of your heart is another story."
i'm NEVER EVER going to talk to you again.
what the heck is wrong with you?
perhaps im just in a bad mood.
sweeet, while the two weeks lasted.
10:04 AM
last lesson of aikido..
it was.
superb,
one of the best i ever had..
sinsei told me it's a pity i have to go.
or i'll be brown gold in two more years..
i agree.
but i.have.to.leave. no matter how much i dont want to.
after A's.
I'LL BE BACK.
i have no idea what shit you're thinking,
what shit you're doing and
what shit you're feeling.
dont turn your back and leave please?
what happened?
i really don't know what to do,
how to help you,
no matter how much i want to..
YOU DON'T.
12:39 AM
bro's in a good mood.
super cute.
been out alot, alot,alot.
lunches,
dinners.
time to settle down after promo's.
three changes in teachers next year.
wonder how i'd survive.
camp next week.
somehow or another,
dont feel like going.
dont feel like stopping whatever i'm doing now.
ah well.
when only 2 comes,
what should me, the captain do?
sigh.
i need to make our morale go HIGH.
i'm not angry.
just.
sad and disappointed.
for the Lord,
is never weary,
His ways are beyond my thoughts.
He never sleeps,
He never slumbers,
He never tires of hearing our prayer.
when we are weak,
He becomes stronger.
so rest in His love
and cast all of your cares,
on Him.
i wasn't blaming you for anything.
please please.
dont ignore me.
dont know what to do..
somehow, i just feel like..
accompanying you.
swimming plus aikido tomorrow,
lunch with ms plus basketball on tuesday.
golf on wednesday.
school plus basketball on thursday.
steamboat with team on friday.
wow.
you dont even need to apologise,
its not entirely your fault yeah..?
i can reassure time and time again,
i wont leave just cause i've new friends.
so dont worry.
havent had a good night sleep for dayss.
rahh.
pw is OVER!
=)
D.
thanks for that posttttt,
where i see my BIG name and BIG face.
haha. and,
yes, the tips=)
so sweeet of you.
thanks for the night.
and wait. NO, im NOT going to complete that game!
in the first place,
i dont even know when we're gonna meet again!
thanks everyone,
who wished me all the best =)
somehow, i find myself so dumb
dumb to fall deeper and deeper into the hole,
knowing that you guys will leave soon.
and yet,
i just keep on going,
and going.
oh well.
thank God for this bunch of j2s,
no matter how we get to know each other,
how short the time we have together.
before i start on my i&r and stuff..
dont think you can push me just because i keep giving in.
it has been the whole freaking year,
putting up with you and your attitude.
mind your attitude before commenting on others please.
i've told you,
be thankful your grades are good.
BUT MINE ISN'T.
you have NO right to command any of us.
i've so many activities,
what a pity you don't.
i feel sorry for you.
and you have NO right to ask me to NOT go.
im not as irresponsible as you.
i have duties to carry out,
i have skills i need to practise.
2 more days,
and it'll soon be over.
in these two days,
IF you push me any more,
I'll BOOM.
i'll do more drastic things than just leave the classroom.
and. STOP PUSHING THE BLAME TO ME.
YOU ARE NOT ME.
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND.
and. IM NOT SOMEONE WHO'LL SKIP CCA.
unlike you.
aww.
and. stop using getting A as a threat to me.
im sorry, DOESNT WORK.
cca days changed,
caused my whole plan to be screwed up.
need to change piano and stuff.
super irritated.
irritated cause we have to share coach.
we dont get his full attention,
we cant improve.
loads of things to decide on.
jersey,
farewell for j2s,
j1 bbq,
all these things..
being a leader in jc is so so different from secondary school.
in secondary school,
everything is decided by our teacher..
as leaders, we just have to carry out and follow their instructions.
in jc,
i dont even need to ask for permission.
just inform and carry out.
good and bad points though.
ah well, got to do my best and lead the team.
i want the team to r.i.s.e.
we'll get into nationals.
=)
my hols is so screwed.
4 weeks of december..
first two weeks overseas.
third week, anshao camp.
last week christmas.
gonna miss trainings =(
i have THREE camps this hols.
wow.=)
where does studies come in..?
kb, thanks for all your heart warming msges despite your A's.
your encouragements every time i feel like giving up on the team.
your advices.
your support.
i'll look forward to you coming back.
=)
mel, thanks for lunching with me so often despite your A's.
and for all your advices on how to lead and bring the team to rise.
i'll look forward to you coming back!
btw. how did we even start talking..?
=)
ms. thanks for always trying to make me laugh, cheering me up in class, hearing me rant although you have things bottled up too.
you know i need you yeah..?
and.. CHILL. things will be over soon.
loves! =)
daryl, thanks for offering to meet me to teach me stuff despite our clashing schedules!!!! ( wanting to meet you is just so tough ><)
and for msging me these days despite me distracting you while doing your work.
you giving your last ten bucks to charity still makes me laugh.
=)
reynold, im glad my books managed to help you with your O's.
thanks for still being there despite being in a different school.
novemeber's here.
i've known you for about two years soon..
somehow, i still wonder.
how did we even start talking?
talking so much,
knowing that you are so shy..
yet, we still managed to talk.
hmm.
any way, it still feels great to have you msging me,
keeping me updated about your O's.
i look forward to 6 points.
keep going okay..?
im still here,
like how i was..
=)
navin. I UPDATED HOR!
update yours too.
and..
yes yes, you're awesome =)
somehow or another..
i still miss the times when we could just..
talk,
talk,
talk..
and go on talking.
and talking.
and talking.
but nevermind..
at least we still do talk.
thanks for listening to my rants, always..
=)
my girls.
thanks for being so supportive. <3.
anshao.
thanks for all the prayers, encouragement, support,
laughs, love. <3
aikido mates.
thanks for all the encouragements.
sorry for disappointing your..
but, i really have to quit.
its beyond my control.
i'll come back soon, i promise..
<3.
all the best for A levels. =)
my basketball girls,
j2 seniors,
anshao-ers,
anyone,
everyone.
i cant wait for A levels to end.
thank God.
for EVERYTHING ABOVE! =)
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For God so love the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but shall have enternal life. John 3:16
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