Only God can make
A mess into a message
A test into a testimony
A trial into a triumph
A victim into a victory 10:29 PM
died__
well. hectic. saturday, went to play golf with dad in malaysia at this country club. whoo. this kind soul taught me a 1/2 swing, 3/4 swing and a full swing. and i need my golf clubbbbbbb! so yeah. went swimming for a while. the pool is so small i cant be bothered to swim much. so a day in malaysia. didnt really do much. so sunday. went for church as usual. practised for carolling. and had choir after that. went to walk around ps and eat. monday. played basketball in the noon and had aikido lessons at night. tuesday, went to celebrate guangyi's birthday and we were walking around making him do things like 18 hugs, 18 handshakes, 18 birthday songs. left for carolling at sgh after that. was in the same group as.. MY BRO and sean tan! all the anshao were seperated. LOL! than mu shi fetched us home. and ate cookies/ pastries mum made. yesterday went to meet yvonne for some letter writing to some anshao people ( more of my group members.) than went for carolling after that. house to house. was quite fun. visit 5 houses and count down at this super big house. by the time we reached home was like nearly two. after bathing, chionged letter writing to some anshao peopel till like 430am. AND. i had to wake up at 730am to go to church!. imagine. mu shi's service was nice. xian shi today.
during worship. we were singing this song. 人生的福. it made me tear. long time since the lyrics of a song made me tear. immediately, someone came into my mind. and. its such a pity because God's gift is so great, so great.
人生一切能享的福，哪样保留得住
人生一切能享的福，哪样不虚空
人生一切能享的福，哪样能够满足
人生一切能享的福，哪样能带走
我愿给你最好礼物，就是主基督
胜过你人生一切的福，最深的羡慕
你能给我最好的礼物，是信主基督
跟随他脚步永远有福，我最深的喜悦和欢呼
the best gift.
recieved quite alot of cards/ presents this year for christmas. i think one of the most. recieved from shao han, belinda, ce ren, and a number from anshao. =). like. total had 10+++. rebecca passed me some songs in a cd. of which one of them i love - when i think about the lord. lijuan daoshi bought me a cross pendant =). thanks all!
when i think about the Lord
how He saved me, how He raised me
how He filled me with the Holy Ghost
how He healed me to the uttermost
when i think about the Lord
how he picked me up
turned me around
how He set my feet
on solid ground
it makes me want to shout
hallelujah! thank you, Jesus!
Lord, you're worthy
of all the glory, and all the honor
and all the praise!
Hallelujah! thank you, Jesus!
Lord, you're worthy
of all the glory, and all the honor
and all the praise!
(ephesians 2:4-7, 2 corinthians 5:17)
ps. rebecca: now i understand what you mean by powerful and meaningful lyrics.
day 5. xD
11:25 PM
died__
hm. back from church camp. 4 days 3 nights. super cool. whoo. any way. i've been meeting up with yvonne for like last sunday. wednesday. friday. saturday. sunday. and monday - thursday. talked to her and learn some stuff from her. and, she made me think about some stuff too. like how in a relationship where the partner isnt a christian and yeah. thats why people often say, surround yourself with Godly people. =). so anshao camp was quite fun. 7.5 / 10 if i were to rate it. was in sarang group with rachel as the leader, jen, zhihan, yong huay, lihao, guangyi, nicholas, sean tan as the members. and lijuan ds as our mentor. first day had games plus team building. team building to henderson waves was quite refreshing. even though i went to conquer it with my parents, doing it at night with friends was something new. tiring but yet fun. learnt that team work is seriously needed. so second day, had sermons by pastor kelly and pastor chris at night. in between had captain's MUD ball!. damn fun. we were getting ourselves all muddy but well, it was fun. =). see people rushing for the ball and being enthusiastic about the game bonded the anshao as a whole. pastor chris sermons made me think. when am i going to give God my all as a teenager. life as a teenager is pretty short. its either now or never.being a teenager is when its the best time because we are young and energetic. but.. am i doing so..? am i going to do so..? pray that i will. some cried and i did too. third day had sermons by zhang mu shi on our theme, back to the initial love. learnt about what the initial love is all about. in the afternoon had a workshop by fei yue about troubles as a teenager. at night was bbq plus closing ceremony. closing ceremony was fun and well. people cried. marks the end of anshao camp 2008. tonned the whole night, talking to jo, tauwei ds and a few others. after that at 5 plus, von, bella fell asleep. so i went to play bridge with guangyi, sarah, sean tan. learnt how to play bridge and well, its FUN!. by the time, it was already 6 + 7. talked to sarah and some people woke up. so we packed our stuff and yeah. marked the end of anshao camp 2008. those who cant join us in the following years, hope this camp was a good one. =).
went to ikea with esther, yong xin, von, jo, lunsiong and julia. as we were all tired, after lunch we left. i sat 147 with von and we talked a little. well, im proud to say that some people really matured and open up in the camp. shaun, jo, zhonghan and a few others. xD.
gonna be quite busy until january. missed 4e6 class chalet cause of anshao camp. gonna miss 6b chalet cause of aikido. gaaaaah. going malaysia tomorrow.
im on the purpose driven life 40 days book.
well. 3 of you.
a christian, a catholic, a free thinker.
i dunno. dont make me confuse any more. 9:59 AM
died__
i wonder.. why my family has so many problems. it makes me cry. in my mind. thoughts are always running through. at times. i prefer a divorce. if both are unhappy, why continue being together..? but again. i want to be like every other kid. have a happy, yet complete family. i think i need to go to laoshi again. like how she managed to settle our family dispute the last time. my life is in a mess. and i really need God to come into control of my life. im messing it up real badly. now, i have totally no idea what i wanna do with my life. i no longer have the urge to go back for art lessons. i dunno what the heck is happening. but i know a few important things i gotta settle before the next year comes.
firstly. my family stuff.
secondly. i need to talk to him. properly.
thirdly. i need to get hold of myeslf.
fourthly. i need to serioiusly go back to God.
fifthly. i need to settle all the guy thing once and for all.
and i feel like typing a prayer.
Dear God.
I know i have been straying away. a day by a day. and i no longer want to escape You. i want to come back into Your hands. i want to dedicate my life again. Lord. help me. to listen to You carefully. so that i know which direction i should go. so that i know how to continue living my life, with You in control. Also, please guide my heart. Dont let me fall into any temptations. help me come to You with all my problems, with all my worries. because You said. "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." Lord. help me to have a clear mind to act to whatever the situation is. Help me be a child that is able to obey my parents as stated in the ten commandments. Help me do things in Your will and not things that will displease You. Lord. You are in control. You are the only one who i believe can do all miracles. 我把一切都交托在您手里.
Amen.
people out there. i need you to pray for me. for my family. for me to go back to God. for me to stop running away and to face my problems. Thank you.
give me a break. everyone. 12:13 AM
died__
now that the piano concert is over, its time to really do things i have not done. i have to really exercise since almost everyone has pointed out i put on weight. ><. yeah. gonna play basketball. and, pack my room. i know im like a big procrastinator. few things that are gonna happen in the week. gonna celebrate von's birthday on wednesday. next week is anshao camp. and sheesh. im jobless cause i need to go for ANOTHER training. dont feel like working. but i want the money. LOL. piano concert was fun. didnt do that badly but didnt do that well too. ahaha. made some friends and joked around. =). and. my bro's bloody unreasonable, like always. i hope he gets into army soon. and im superrrrr impatient. i want to move on to jc quick. cause im wasting my life awayyyyyyy. makes me wonder why people love holidays that much. apart from the dont need to study part.
perhaps everything's settled.
perhaps its not. 9:57 PM
died__
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY xDD
shit.
i knew it would come.
i dont care if i get 6 points or not. go ahead and get it. everyone longs for 6 points. but what is so important about that 6 points? tell me. dont talk about results. dont talk about me flirting or whatsoever. we talk about ACHIEVEMENTS. say im an arrogant ass or whatever. go ahead. dont talk about achievements, we talk about friends. or get a category, we compete, fair and square. life aint all about studies. 6 points? what for? i dont bother. =) cause. God filled me.
sorry, abit random, but i really couldnt stand it. and. lousy mood.
passing is my responsibility God gave me; doing well is a blessing from God.
shit again.
everything changed.
perhaps, all my boats sinked.
perhaps, whatever they said were right.
玩到过火了 + 心一点也不定
perhaps.
so i have decided.
to stop. if i can. 2:33 AM
died__
back.
feel like shit.
there and now.
on the lighter note, i went to some interesting places in turkey. eg. mother mary's and st john's death place. and this stadium which st paul preached in. and this hagia sophia where its both a mosque and a church. yeah. went on hot air balloon. two hundred plus USD. waste of cash. met people. nice people, who are now friends.
piano piano piano. its all i needa concentrate on for the next week.
affairs of the heart. never ending.
have we both found another someone..?
no doubt, we cant be forever.
just. tell me striaght, if im assuming, if im not.
10 days wasnt the obstacle.
what now..?
squished between three.
loads of reminders to dont go overboard.
just let me go la-la for one more month.
and i got this feeling.
all will go.
i miss your face.
maybe i've forgotten.
your smile.
the wave.
the talk.
has already been etched in my memory.
love..? what love..?
infactuations more of. 1:55 AM
died__