' running a never ending road______

Thursday, February 09, 2006

yo. i just read this npcc C.I's blog. it just find it so meaningful. although i am not part of NPCC, but it just suddenly dawned upon me that the cadets and people in NPCC are just so determined. they are real determined in NPCC. i dont see them slacking. just to win a competition, they can have campcraft training like 3 or 4 times a week. im so deeply impressed. why do i see so many people from NPCC living and dying for NPCC. among all the uniform group, they have the most number or recruitments and i see them just so hardworking. this cadet inspector just work for npcc even though he have loads of things to do. i read his entries, and i see his cadets. they are so unlike other uniform groups. i have to say that i used not to like npcc so much. i used to think they are so kia su. they maybe abit kia su. but they have a way of making their own cadets love their cca and working towards the same goal. united as one they stand. i see those friends of mine in NPCC. they just love their cca and spend all their time on NPCC, bringing the unit a better one and being the best amongst all. their goal. ncos after ncos, working towards their goal. i just feel so touched when i see that. fellow friend in npcc have grown up. NPCC have built a fine character in them. they get punished ( can hear the ncos going [knock it down] so often ) but they just dont mind.i havent seen such a cca which can change their personal life. perhaps God's doing and power is just so strong. that C.I is a christian. he leaves so much things and relate so many things to God. i agree with him. God have gave us this family of ours for us to treasure.
The Lord. i love Him alot. He gave me friends from all over. He help me in every thing. He gives me love. He builds my character. He does wonders. nothing can i compare His love with. Lord. you are more beautiful then diamond. Lord you are more costly than gold. Lord you are more wonderful then every thing and nothing i desire compares with you.( i forgot abit of the lyrics.) the Lord has just work on me so much that i feel His love. i used to think that God was just Him, Himself.
in literature, i was asked. what influenced me the most. and my answer was my dad's heart attack. as i talk about it now, i feel like crying. my dad cant accept that he has a heart attack before. people around him care for him. and i see that he has so many true friends who brings so much things to the hospital for him. i see my family getting closer and closer each day. my dad's heart attack brought our family close. im so grateful. at times, in the past, i might not even see my dad for a few days cause i go to school early and he comes home late. it was as though i have no father, sad to say. my mum was the one who brought me up. when my dad comes home from dinner at 10 in the night, i accompany him and see him eat.if he doesnt come back by 10, i will call him. i seldom get the chance to see and talk to him. a father whom i seldom even see. i had no quarrels with me dad at all. we were so fine cause we didnt even get time to communicate. his bussiness was so well that he goes to indonesia so often. as i type, i feel tears rolling down my eyes. i have a friend, whose father died at the age of 12. he is 17 now, the man of the house. at least i still have a father around. his heart attack influenced me the most and now, he comes home for dinner at 7 daily. i spend more time with my father. but, we argue and quarrel more. God gave me this family. perhaps it was God's way of making our family a better one by giving him a heart attack. his life maybe shortened. but, at least i feel the fatherly love. unlike last time. two years ago, i didnt think so much. but now, two years from then, i have grown up. i begin thinking about much more things other then relationship.
ever since secondary 1, i think my thinking have changed. i think in a more sensible way and God have worked on me real deeply. i feel His love.i spend time commenting on things rather then msning all the time. i may suck in studies. but, i believe my thinking have grown up. i can comment on things like people and life. i learn to see the meaning in songs instead of just seeing the words of the lyrics and singing along. this song, is a song my primary 6 teacher taugh. to where you are by josh groban. i havent hear this song for so long. but the lyrics are just engraved in my mind. the tune as well. its goes like this

-Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be (?)
That you are myForever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping

Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday'
Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believeT
hat angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

its a real nice song. i have not posted such a long post for a very long time. but i still feel like penning down my thoughts. i have spent a long time thinking. and i guess i shall end here. i will write again when i have more thoughts. God bless.

7:25 PM

died__