a never ending road______

Thursday, January 26, 2006

yo. sheesh. just came running home from school today. i would just like to thank ying yin, anthia and yan chang for all they have done. its so wonderful beyond discription. oh man. okay. lets just say what happened. firstly, i stayed back and accompained k.kaiwen at first. but after that i accompained charmaine. then when i went down to the canteen at about 3. 20 and suddenly, when i was walking, i saw cheng zhong coming out from the toilet there. then i know i in trouble liao. then anthia was like asking me to go over. then i went to take my school bag and went over. then cheng zhong was playing with the soccer ball. no surprised. then anthia gave me two choices. to go over and say hi myself or yang chang, anthia and ying yin will help me. then i gave the excuse that i needed to go home. then when i just stood up, yan chang called staff sergent. then i die liao. then anthia continued by saying that one is kai wen. then i ran out of the school not turning back. and if anthia, ying yin and yan chang is gonna sprut nonsense saying that i like him, and he blocks me on msn, they are really gonna be in serious trouble. real serious. lol. tonight when he comes online, lets see if he knows me. but guess he only saw my back view. argh. how? i would one day go say hi to him. just when only. still got one whole year sia. oh my god. im thankful for your to tell him who i was. but i just didnt know what to do. i want to go say hi. but then ill be dumbfounded once i see him when he looks so damn dao. then i see him le dunno what to do man. i want to run. run and run away. i wanted anthia, ying yin and yan chang to just zip up their mouth this time. i would promise them that they would have the chance to tell cheng zhong who i am. LOL. i wonder what is he gonna do now. we will just see tonight. or for the next few nights. he sure ask me why i so scared of him de lor. but that is if he even talks to me. i guess i wont dare talk to him le. lol. i guess i shall end here. thanks anthia, ying yin and yan chang. i know what your did is all to help me. sheeeeshh. Take care every one and God bless. cheers.

4:00 PM

died__

Friday, January 20, 2006

yo. just came back from school and is about to go off for camp in about two hours. wah lou. i stayied in school to accomapny mel lah. then i saw npcc. then SUDDENLY when we accompained mel to the toilet to change, cheng zhong came out of the guys toilet. and he was walking and as there was a window, he could see behind. out of no where, he said, Lecia knock it down. wah lou. so loud that i was so damn shock. he so dao plus so fierce. oh man. but i think he know who i am le. after that give her scolding then pumping. like that never mind. suddenly, he was in the canteen then suddenly call daryl and daniel to knock it down for drinking milo in npcc uniform. so damn loud. then before that was lunch time lah. then the secondary 3s were pumping. then he shout so damn loud. want to call him also scared le. wah lou eh. wonder why he is so nice on msn. doesnt even sound like him. ester also very scary. and always see him hanging around with girls. haha. i never ever regret not joining npcc. wait. before i left school, he was checking the secondary 2s uniform. then, those uniform not proper enough have to do pumping. what the hell man. its like torturing them leh. and its like he check 8, 7 or 6 get pumped. so damn strict sia. i think he shout from first floor, 10th floor also can be heard. omg. his voice very loud i also know. his normal facial expression is very dao de. then if he smiles still ok lah. but then he npcc that time so damn fierce, scared of him liao. really scared liao. then there is a rule in npcc saying that if you see others get pump you will also get pump. so damn strict. junior and senior stead also cannot. wah piang eh. they dont trust thier cadets then say lah. have so many damn rules for what?? still got one person dont go, pump 20 times. wah kao.if cheng zhong or any npcc cadet reads this, im here to say that, NPCC IS SO DAMN CRUEL AND STRICT!!!!!!. oh mann. and when the sir comes in, the jun wei have to shout to make every one in position to greet him. wahh lao.okayy..shall move on.
im glad that you have move on in life, its real happy and pleasing to see you now being so happy instead of always asking me the same question. well. you are right. i believe you have fully got over her. its drama for you and studies. you are sec 5 now already. you cant fool around so much. i suddenly realise that you being single is much a better person then being attached. probably because you are much open in stuff and dont have so much worries. all the best in every thing you do especially your intrest- soccer and acting. CHEERS. God bless every one.

2:14 PM

died__

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

yo. having no parents around was quite nice. but i think long term wont be nice lah. cause its like, that day early in the morning, the electric cuirit tripped and it was like 5 plus so it was so dark. and we couldnt find any batteries for torch light. and, there was no help. so yeah. but well, havin g no parents around for short term is nice. i have to be independent and study as well as not play too late although i have been camping by my computer dsiturbing cheng zhong all day long. haha. its better bonding with my brother though. any way, now that my parents are back, lets just see what they have bought for me. hmm. firstly, THEY BOUGHT LOADS OF FOOD and by the way, i have gained like two kgs since alst year?!!? secondly, my mum bought practically every thing which is pink in colour, namely, a handphone case, pencil box, wallet, adidas bag, shoe laces, two pairs of slippers. i think they have turned me into a pinky girl. well, they bought two adidas shirts as well as a brown belt. feel kidna blessed to have such parents who buy things for me when i just request. oh well. hahaha. hmm. lets see. yesterday. i was dead tired and could not really enjoy the last day of having parents out of singapore. cause i had art club followed by music lessons. i was kina DEAD already. oh well. but i still could disturb people lah. haha. today morning went out with priscilla to junction 8 for lunch. then that stupid brandon say will come but in the end he scared to meet us. -.- GUY leh. i was like, huh. he my god brother leh. kor kor summore. hhaha. aiyo. i guess i better be resting. theres school and SPELLING tomorrow. one wrong, 50 times correct. lols.. God bless and take care..

*moving on.

10:23 PM

died__

Sunday, January 08, 2006

yo. well my parents are away on a holiday, leaving me and my brother home alone. no fair. i want to go bangkok with them. LOL. any way. i slept at like 2 this morning and woke up at 7. 30. wasnt that tired. but i took 2 hours of afternoon nap. haha. well. me and kor and the maid reached church at like 9. 20 when sermons had already started?! LOL. pro right? but at least we went what. when we were climbing up the second floor, met zane, kester, joseph talking outside. LOL. haha. then after that i saw them behind standing. then annoucements were quite SHOCKING. p paul leaving to australia to go study arts le. OMG. i was like HUH?!?! then after that was youth. kor went home. didnt attend youth. then people like kester and liang ze were asking me where he was. then i said at home sleeeeeping. HAHA. then, aunty janet sang a rock song from the 80s? lols. it was okayyy lah. but not my kind. well. after that went for lunch at 326..

yesterday i was talking to cheng zhong ( he doesnt know me) about npcc. then he was over there talking about recruitment. they win liao lorh. got 104 people sign up. wah lou. we stil lwere caculating that one third of the sec 1s sign up. HAHA. then i think i scare him too much le bah. until he always dunno what to say. then is like 3/4 of the time i talking. last time when i talk with some other guy, is 3/4 of the time he talking i commenting and listening. but now, it has changed. i still miss the times we talk though. but i have to move on in life. its pain. real painful. i look at you, i think of the time we were talking and msging for almost one whole day. now, i look at my hp, i seee my screen saver and not 1 ,2 ,3,4,5... missed call. or 1 message recieved. guess you have put a great impression on me. but, well, i take you as a brother. no worries. well. i was happy that my maid told me that you were looking at me when i was walking up the stairs but i ignored you. i didnt ignored. i just dont want to look into your eyes. im afraid i will fall back worse. waited for like a few hours, finally saw a missed call on my handphone. i was real glad and contented and well, we talked for like 5 minutes though.. but now every one thinks that i am with moses. when i actually have totally no feelings for him. rachel tan just asked me. hannah and annaliza asked me two weeks ago. wan lin asked me on christmas. well. if i were to have to have a choice to like someone, it wont be him. it would be you instead. hais. think i shall end here le. i am gonna camp at my computer tonight.=)). Take care and God bless.

*cheng zhong: happy belated birthday
*adeline: happy birthday
*moving on in life.

6:41 PM

died__

Sunday, January 01, 2006

yo. i watched you walking through the dark and didnt dare look at you under the bright light. how i yearn for your presence in me once again. we are drifting apart as fast as the rocket. is she all you care about now? am i forgotten? i have loads of things to ask you. i look at you from the back of the santuary. and i just wanted you to turn your head and just take a little second and look at me once again. i was looking at you through the whole refreshment. i didnt see you glancing at me. but i was close enough for me to feel you around. afraid that you might read my blog and distant yourself away from me. you dare nott confess that you once love me? cant that stay forever? or perhaps i shouldnt think about it. i was upset when i didnt see you in church today. i saw your family. but not you. dont wanna touch so much about you. but i would liek you to know that when you fall, ill be here like i always have been for the past year.

went to church for watch night service yesterday and well. glad that hannah plucked up her courage to give her testimony. touched. but when i came back, i was talking to dora and she told me that perhaps she doesnt want to stay as a christian. i was shocked to hear that. and tried to touch her by my life. the way i have experience GOd. 13 years in church. never once have i felt his love, his presence and him at work. it just seem that my dad's heart attack touched me. christmas touched me as well and well. through the long year, being with you have touched me in some ways. the time you said you wanted to leave church. any way. its a new year. i should look forward to the new year and forget about the past. carry those fond memories with me and have a blessed year full of blessings and grace. i hope that you will forget the hard time you had and carry the fond memories as well. have a blessed year full of blessings and grace. God bless.

*guess life is getting better without you though i want you and love you so much.

6:00 PM

died__