g a never ending road______

Sunday, December 25, 2005

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERY ONE. this christmas was one of the best christmas i have ever had. probably because i have grown up. or the people in it most of them i know. thus i feel the pride being their friend, a member of this church. i am touched. really touched. i dont know why i feel so touch. but. i just feel touch. i see the youth perform. invited for supper. presents by friends. i just feel a sense of belonging to this church. 13 years which is my whole life there. i never regret. the years i spent there. the friends i have there. i dont regret staying in this church. i jsut dont know why my friend doesnt like this church and wants to leave. but i believe the thought of staying in this church for 17 years of your whole life pulled you back. i love the sermons. i love the songs. i love the choir. i love the performance. i love every thing. its the best christmas i have ever spent in my whole life. its meaningful. the Lord has touched my heart deeply.

any way. spent christmas by being in church for most of my day. went to church in the morning. then after that had youth. we celebrated christmas during youth. had food. before having food, we sang songs and read bible verses. after that went home, went to bike with moses and kor. moses tried learning. then went home for lunch at 2. then 3 went down to bike again. then after that at around 4, we were on our way to church. then moses doesnt know how to bike. then push his bike. then fell. then hurt his leg. then, me and kor carried on to church. saw zane in church with benjamin and nicholas. oh my god. i was standing right in front of him. then he didnt dare look up. so he kept looking down. i was like also dont dare look at him. but after a while, we left lah. so i believe he looked back up. its odd. really odd. we talk behind eveyr thing. but not in front of every thing. any way. going down slope was nice. real nice. then went home, rest, bathe then went to church again. then this time, after wandering for a while, saw zane again. i dont know lah. we just like dont even dare face each other. hais. then half way, calson had stomach ache. so i brought him to the toilet with codie. then while cal was in the toilet, co went to play at the play ground. and he loves to play catching with me. so played a while. then zane was there. aiyyooo. then had a problem catching him till kester helped. so i carried him. ask him dont run liao. then after that went back. hais. keep bumping into him. any way. spent most time with moses. then every one like asking how are we related. friends only. friends. i have no feeling for him at all. totally no feeling. after service, linger around again. thne saw him. then i wanted to go up the stairs, he wanted to come down, so i let him come down first. any way. after that wan lin came to find me. think she argued or something with dora. dont care lah. then the youths ask me to go for supper. but dont think ma and pa will even allow. so didnt go lor.. well. recieved some christmas presents from amanda, anna, alex, e-ma, wan teng jie. thats about it. then open presents when i came home. then after that then sleep liao.. -.- going to go play badminton with boon hui and group on tuesday.. any way. take care and God bless you peeps..

*guess. im tired of life already. i dream of being with you even when i sleep. hais. take care loads. all the best to find your right person. =)

10:47 PM

died__

Monday, December 19, 2005

yo. yetersday went to orchard to see my church choir sing on a christmass tree. well. it was nice. but the bass is a little too loud. so couldnt really hear them properly. but it was nice. real nice. e-ma went along too. hahaha. with ah teng and bu yong as well as e gong. any way. they sang a few songs. impressed. rachel tan so funny. keep coming to talk to me.hahaha. ben lee while singing didnt even look at his book, so ma was like rather impressed with him. i wore the bethel youth shirt to give them support. haha. the turn out was a sucessful one. quite alot of people. but when it was the filipino turn, there were not much support. our maid went along too. any way, today went rollarblading all the way to church. i fell like 3 or 4 times. wahh lou. hais. wasnt wearing any guard. but hell who cares? only my butt abit hurt. met ppaul half way with a few people in a car. damn tired man. lol. going for bowling lessons soon le. tired but still have to go. its the last lesson for me. awww. calvin kor kor just called to confirm watching the king kong show. will be watching on wednesday at 8pm. but i have the class gathering. so i might need him to like fetch me or something. when i manage to get anthia then say lah. hais.

1:16 PM

died__

Sunday, December 11, 2005

yo. well. jsut came back from youth camp since yesterday. bright and early, the sun shone and me and my brother embarked on our way to church at 8. 30.we crapped abit and soon it was no apologies. hmm. whats it about. life, love and sex. well. when i heard it i was kinda stunned. but the workshop was a very good and impressive one except for the short video which was a bit too long for us. i was practically falling asleep. when it came to the real detail part, i was listening. there were games and stuff to make the workshop interesting. it lasted till like 3. ( hey. i know why you asked me the other day " when is the right time i think sex should be done". though i was kinda abit shocked. but well, i was more shocked when i saw that question. CHEERS.) i went for art lessons and reached there about 3. 45. i was like the last 3 students there. but, i am kinda used to it. its better. less distraction and my art teacher gives more useful remarks. hungry by then i was. went for dinner and reached back church at like7. they started their bbq. i didnt eat, but just watched them eat. i felt left out. anti social i maybe. but there is like some secrets between dora and wan lin which i totally dont understand. rachel's still alright. but, i cant read your mind. i dont know whats on your mind. previous post i have mentioned about you being cold. i wasnt quiet. i was stonning. i didnt know what to talk to you about. any way. bbq ended and me and ks went home. bathe and packed our stuff and reached there at 10. 15. when i just step into the church, i saw hannah and alex there talking. hannah was like kinda emotional. followed by seeing aunty janet talking to zane. i knew something happened.the others were queuing up to bathe while they were talking. something always happen when i am not there. all of the time. but when i left for home did that happen. well. i have to tell you something. thank god you didnt go home. at least you still bother to tackle the problem by asking her for just 5 mintues of her time though she was very unwilling. it was like 2 plus in the morning then. all of us were still spraying the shirt thing. well, seriously, what you told me was kinda right. i dont know why the hell you ahd to go write that" nasty " word and dunno what word which spoils YOUR art. listened to you. i didnt do any thing. BUT YOU YOURSELF DID THAT. what the hell for? what are you trying to imply directly? she was right beside you and you wanted her to read that? i was wordless when i saw that word on your shirt. look. GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. dont just stick to her. it will end you no good. trust me. for what reason you stick to her, i dont know. fustrations = slam the door. she doesnt even know how to control her feelings. she cries just because of one small thing. HELL. any way, played taiti while you were talking on the phone. i thought you would want to speak to me. but many people were there. luckily, you didnt. rumours spread you see. we are close enough. dont get closer, for i dont know what will happen next. you were quiet. many things were running through every one's mind. at around 4, we all went back and settled in the chapel. you just look at her while i look at you. she slept, every one slept, soon you slept. all the girls slept but me. i was thinking of many things. reflecting on myself is a good way. seriously a good way. i didnt take a wink of sleep at all. i was thinking. thinking of stuff between you and her. i triede to help, but telling rach where she was. i thought of my spine. i worried for my x- ray results. i thought about my life. i thought about God. i thought about many things, while every one was sleeping except me and a few other guys. i wasnt tired. i guess not using the computer at all doesnt wear me out that easily. i was wide awake. soon, time flew. your woke up. one by one. i started stonning. i was stonning. see me alone most of the times. i needed queit times by myself. ther girls arent fun. the guys are more fun. i mixed with the guys. moses, the most. till like people were looking at us. im sorry. i really was stonning. i wasnt tired. totally wasnt. till sermons. i took a short nap. and fresh awake again. here, your are preparing your trip for tan jong batu, i am here at home, bathe cleaned typing. i pity your. especially four of them. your had like 4 days continous without sleep. but. i still had to thank you guys. for organising the camp with others. it was a fun, enjoyable one though i missed half the stuff. tired every one maybe, we still enjoyed. =) i need to get a sleep soon as im going fo a bowling competition later at 2. by the way. i got my reactive ball, ebonite tornado, which i paid myself, $195 and a plastic ball from uncle francis. i thank God for every thing i have.God bless. CHEERS.

*if you read this, you will know who you are. please explain every thing to me. sorry, i wasnt of much help at times. but seeing you like that, i really dont know what to do. enjoy your trip to tj batu. dont argue with her. give her in. control your mood. thanks for talking to me during camp. take care loads. see you soon. (but hey. rememeber. $70 okay!)
* safe journey for every one.

11:02 AM

died__