this post is full of swear words. so if you dont like them. there is a way not to read it...
today sucks. every thing goes wrong. first my handphone was confiscated last night by my sucking mum. and he is dropping my calls. fuck. art club started at 2.30 today and clara msged to tell me. but my fucking phone is with my fucking mum. so i missed. and 1 demerit. FUCK THE SCHOOL FOR SUCH A SCHOOL rule. it is not my fault. the art club is suppose to start at 3.45. and i dunno how it start at 2.30. fuck the world. every thing is wrong. and i am WRONG. you are RIGHT. you maybe my mum. but i cant fulfill every thing you want. i have the freedom to talk to who i want to. he is not stranger. i knew him since i was born. we are close. but not close as in a relationship. we are just friends. i believe he is one friend that can last for long. he is nice and caring and helpful. but YOU had to steal it all away till the extend of him not picking up my calls. you can do any thing you want to me. but why disturb the friendship between us??? pa always tells me to be sociable. but YOU are always afriad i make the wrong friends. are my friends that bad?? just because of this. i cry. well. i jsut dunno why every time some thing happens between us. i will just cry. it doesnt solve any thing. but what can i do? its my mum who is reframing me from talking to you. i have to fulfill both you and him. is my FUCKINg life suppose to be like that?? whats the point of having a fucking life? sigh. i dunno what the hell is wrong. all along i confide my stuff in him. now that we are taken from each other. i have no one to go to. except charmaine. though we are so far apart. we are still so close. if he was a gurl. i bet ma will let me talk to him. but... he is a guy. nothing wrong talking to him right????? why are you against me talking to him? i just cant understand. i love him. like i love others. whats wrong? did GOD make a rule saying i cant talk to him??? no right?? so why are you disallowing me to do so? i believe he will not harm me in any way. if he is willing to love me and to treat me well, may it be as a friend or what, i will do the same. he has treated me well. so well. that i cant do any thing but to treat him well also. i cant trust every one. but i can trust him. i trust 3 people only. that is charmaine sng, joan and him. well.. perhaps God is giving us a huge test since we care for each other so much.. i guess its enough le.. take care and god bless. especially you.spend more time on your studies and your attitude. not every one can stand your temper.
* life without you sucks.. i love you.
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For God so love the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but shall have enternal life. John 3:16
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